I Want Winter

Chapter 79

Soon enough the next day arrived, I walked out and went about this morning. Today was the day, I am leaving this place forever...
I made a list of all the people I have to say goodbye to and the first one on my list was the Crown Prince.

I arrive at the Crown Prince's court to find both of them being love birds. "Sorry to interrupt you two," I said, once I reached them.

"Oh, no. It's fine. How are you, Liling?" Princess Hua Lan said.
I smiled and answered, "Doing better."

"What brings you here, Liling?" ask the Crown Prince in a friendly way.
"Oh, came here to see how you two are doing," I did a tiny fib.
"Ah, I see. We are doing fine," he said.
"That's good then I should take my leave so you two can be alone," I said.

"No, stay here a little longer. Have some tea before you go," Princess Hua Lan said as I smile ironically.
"Alright, just some tea before I leave," I said and took a seat and had some tea.

Once I had enough and said, "Well, it's my time to leave. Crown Prince, take care. Don't stress too much on political matters and spend time with your soon to come family." I looked at the Crown Prince and then I glanced at Princess Hua Lan and said, "Now you, be especially careful. Have some rest and relax." I smile as my heart tightens.

Both of them look at each other with love in their eyes, "We will," they said at the same time. I didn't want to take up too much of their time together as I slipped away.
Off to the next. . .
I continue to put up a smile.

There I enter a familiar area, "Oh, sister Liling!" Little Prince dropped his sword and came running to me.
"Hello, Little Prince," I said and ruff his hair.
"What are you doing here?" He asks, looking up at me.

I smiled and said, "I came to see you."
"Oh really! Then come and watch me practice my sword fighting," he said super excited.

"Alright," I nod my head. He ran back to where he was and picked up the sword as I leaned on a rock and watched him. He moves swiftly and smoothly with tiny bumps.
He stops and asks, "So what do you think?"

"You are doing good. You are finally growing up," I said, smiling.
"Yeah, I'm going to be strong like my brothers," he said and smiles brightly.
"Yes, you are," I said and looked down at him, "Ying Ah, be a good boy and don't cause trouble. When you grow up, you will be a strong handsome gentleman." I hugged him one last time.

"I have to go, okay? Take care and keep on practicing now," I said, forcing a smile.
"I will!" He said and showed his last kiddish smile at me as I waved goodbye to him one last time.

Then I bump into the 2nd Prince, "Oh Liling!" He said.
"Ah, 2nd Prince. Perfect timing." I said and smiled.
He tilts his head and says, "What do you mean by that?"

I did a soft chuckle and replied, "I was looking for you."
"Oh, why is that?" He questioned.

"No, particular reason. Just want to see how you are doing?" I once again did a tiny fib.
"Is that so. I've been slightly busy with the news on the Hans people," he said. "Would you like to join in finding a particular book?" He asked.

"I would love to," I said and followed him.
He took me to a place in the palace where I have never been to. It had tons of shelves full of old books that were bookbinding. Soon, I was helping him find the book he was looking for as I was touching every book I passed until I found it.
"Found it!" I holler.
He reached to me and I handed it to him, "Thank you, Liling."

As we left the place, "Ying Yan, you know we've been through a lot together and I just want to say thank you. I hope you can relax and find happiness with the person you love, " I said and look at him.

"Why are you saying these things," he couldn't comprehend.

"Just because I don't want it to be too late," I said and put a smile up, "Alright, I should be going now so take care. Good. . Bye," I said and did a tiny wave as I held my tears.

*knock knock*
"Come in," said the Emperor as I entered the room. "Ah, is it time," he said.
I had a sad smile before saying, "Yes, but let's play one last game." I sat in front of the chessboard.

We didn't say anything as we were focused on the game until I made the final move. "Why did you let me win?'' The Emperor asks before looking up from the finished game.

"Because I want to make my last distribute as a memory." I said and smiled at him, "Please, your Highness, spend some time off of being an Emperor but as a normal person." I added before I stood up. "It was a pleasure to meet you. Farewell, your Highness." I did my last bow.

I enter my room one last time to find a shining ornament on the table. My heart skips a beat as my finger reaches to touch the cold purple beads. I pick up the hairpin and clench it in my palm before I release it. I noticed my lantern, which I had forgotten, in the corner as I grabbed it and opened the small window in the room. I then tied the hairpin onto the string and lit my lantern as I finally let it go in the air forever.
Goodbye Ying Zhi . . .

As I watch the lantern soar in the air, the door opens. "My Lady, you called?'' Lin asks before I turn my attention to her.
"Yes, come with me," I said as we walked out of the room and to where it all began.

We finally reached the frozen pond and I said, "Lin, come here." I open my arm and hug her. "Thank you so much for everything you have done for me and being by my side always. I love you as a sister," I said and held back my tears.
"Lin, you can go now. I have already talked to the Emperor to let you go, so you can be free to go anywhere you want and not be stepped on by these people. Also here's money for you to live on," I added and handed her a bagful of money.
"Why?" Lin said sadly.
A sad smile appeared on my face as I said, "Because I won't be coming back."
"Where are you going?" Lin said and looked at me with sad eyes.
I grabbed her hands and said, "Lin, I know that you know I'm not your lady. Since the day I woke up, you knew because of our different personalities. And now it's time for me to leave." as she silently knew what I was talking about. "Now take care," I said one last time and hug her one last time as she parted away.

I took a step under the gazebo and slowly walked to the edge. I see the frozen pond underneath me as I just need one more step to fall in.
Goodbye everyone. . . Goodbye YingZhi. . . . I hope to forget about you.
I closed my eyes and took one big step off and felt my weight drastically falling down until I felt an arm wrap around my waist and pull me up, as my eye opened. Then a cold whisper enters my ears, "You dare leave me without saying goodbye," and before I knew I was being hugged. There I saw those eyes I missed in a long time.
"Ying Zhi..." I said softly as if afraid it was a dream.
He uses both of his hands to push my cheeks together, "How could you leave." as I felt warm tears streaming down my face.
"It is you," I said in disbelief and grabbing on his wrists.
He chuckled in sadness, "Yes, it is me. I'm sorry I took a while." He uses his thumbs to wipe my tears.
Then a loud scream came running to us, "Why can't you just DIE!" Consort Qingyuan appears out of nowhere and shoves me off.

"YING ZHI!" I shouted one last time as my body broke the ice and submerged into the water. I bubble out, "Goodbye...," one last time before water had entered my throat.