Chicago PD (#wattys2019)

123. Not a dream (Mouse)

Corebore123 this one is for you sorry I messed up your requests 🙈😉😁
Song was written by a Carry Underwood and it's called Just a dream and it's for Mouse. Its so sad and beautifull at the same time.

Tears have soaked my white dress and my tired face was wet and puffy. Storming down the road in Camaro, his letters in a box on a pasanger seat next to me. I had smile on my face ready for forever. I parked my car in front of the crurch and the door opened. My white dress danced in the wind and the sun shined on my hair. Here he was, waiting for me with two rings in his hand smiling from ear to ear. His hand was strached towards me and when I wanted to grab it, it was gone. I panicked looking from left to right and when I took a step inside the church all the heads bowed and all dresses turned their color from bright to black, including mine. I looked in front of me and there he layed in a cascet, not moving.

I jumped off of my bed, tears of pain running down my cheeks. It was a nightmare. My mom ran in the room, hugging me tight. "It's okay honey. Everything will be okay."

I tried to close my eyes but without him this just isn't possible. I need him to hold me, to tell me everything will be okay. But it will not be.

In the morning I put on my black dress and head downstairs. I hate the pityfull looks they gave me so I want this to be done as quickly as possible. O pour myself a glass of whiskey to drown at least a little bit of pain but deep down I know the pain will never fully go away. The pictures of us on the wall only makes it harder to move on because moving on is not something I want. I want him.

Not long after I stand at the church entrance and it feels more and more like the nightmare from last night but this nightmare won't stop when I wake up. Everyone is shaking my hand and telling me how sorry they are but I just feel numb from everything.

Preacher welcomed us in and asked us to bow our heads and pray. "Lord please lift his soul and heal this hurt. I whisper with the last power I had in me. The congregation all stand up and sang the saddest song I ever heard. The tears started to run down my cheek like a river that can't be stopped and the scenes from our life started playing in my head but they were distrupted by a folded flag that they gave me. We all stood up again and outside we could hear gun shoots being fired in his honor. I grabbed my heart and kneeled down. It was just like a bullet trough my heart.

"Baby why did you leave me, why did you have to go." I scream from the top of my loungs, my mom and sister supporting me on each side.

They hold me close and whisper in my ear that everything will be okay but I know this is not a dream this is my forever now, my forever without him.