Disruption • P.JM

f i v e

Holy shit. My body was limp, frozen, sweaty, cold, and every terrible thing you could think of. It's like everything froze. I couldn't take my gaze off him and that was bad. I needed to get it together. But there he was. He looked...different.

I mean, I could lie and say that I never kept up with BTS updates in the past few years, but as I said, that would be a lie. No matter how many Instagram posts I saw about them, interviews, Run! episodes, guest appearances on American TV shows, it was nothing compared to this moment I was laying actual eyes on him again.

He looked so...tired. Granted, they had just finished dance practice for their first upcoming single of their newest album: Map of the Soul: 7. Sejin told me this first song was called "Black Swan".

He told me the dance would be intense and it showed in the exhaustion of their sweating face and wet tousled hair. They are each individually and uniquely attractive. But Jimin is—

No!

"Tina?" Sejin chimed. I shot my eyes to him. I didn't realize I was just staring as they were speaking. What were they even talking about? Shit.

"Ne?" I simply responded. Oh God, tell me Jimin didn't recognize me.

"Did you want to say anything? Introduce yourself, maybe?" They snickered. These geniuses probably think I'm some awe-struck fan who can't believe I'm even in their presence.

Yeah...right.

"I'm so sorry!" I composed myself, "My flight has really taken a toll on me, I just landed a couple of hours ago; my name is Tina..."

And then it hit me...Genius!

"It's my first time here in South Korea; I hope you guys will be kind to me. Nice to meet you!" I bowed my head in front of them. The problem is, I'm too good of a liar. It's almost disturbing. I really should've been an actress; Good Girls' Beth has got nothing on me.

Sejin smirked at my sly genius. It helps if they don't know that I've ever been here before. So, Jimin will never know, but still, I swear there is something I'm forgetting. There is something tugging away at my mind.

Oh well, we can revisit it tonight. I was snapped out of my own mysteries again when they each introduced themselves.

"Welcome to the team Tina! I'm Namjoon. I'm the leader and kind of a—"

"This isn't the Ellen Show Namjoon. I know who you guys are." I laughed. They all joined in, including Sejin. I'm glad I'm finding a way to make light of this. I almost forgot about Jimin. Almost.

"Your Korean isn't too bad for someone who has never been here before." He eyed me, up and down. I'm not sure how to feel about that. Part of me felt the absolute rage that I should feel considering the fact that we unknowingly hate each other.

But another part of me was...tingling? Burning? What the actual fuck? Well, I guess I can't really be upset with myself for that one. He was a whole part of my heart before.

Okay. Stop. Get it together.

He kept his gaze on me. It was as piercing as ever. I felt so lost in his stare. There was so much mystery in his gaze. As if he was looking for something. As if he was trying to put something together.

"Nope." I lied. "Just a lot of practice at home and TV and movies and such." My words started trailing off.

We were staring at each other and I felt my cheeks tingle a little. Was he always this fascinating to look at? Yes, he was. He was also fascinating to be around. I saw a tiny smile creep along his lips and it through me so far back into the past I felt I was flying down the drop of a roller coaster.

I forgot the way he used to make me feel. I forgot how he could make me feel like there aren't 7 other people standing in this room around us. I forgot how much I used to adore him.

Shit. Does he recognize me?

"Well, welcome to Korea and welcome to BigHit. I hope you end up surviving us." We both laughed.

"Oh God, here he goes" I heard Jungkook say, and again, they were snickering to themselves.

What is that supposed to mean? Is he confirming that Jimin is the Godless whore I think he is? Why is that bothering me?

"Let her breathe, she just got here. Idiots" Thank God for Min Yoongi, so carelessly sensible in this situation.

"Can we go home now? I'm so tired." Jungkook whined a little. I can imagine. I was really tired too. And hungry. Which is a first, I'm normally so accustomed to venti cold brew and photosynthesis.

"Yeah, how about we get back to your guys' dorm and I'll order food so we can have dinner together and relax a little." My ability to keep my surface cool was going to freak me out soon.

I could keep this flow going at least until we get home and I can go throw up my anxiety in the bathroom.

"Wow, I think I like you already. Jimin, be nice to her." Seokjin said. Is Jimin supposed to be a dick or something? Maybe I don't recognize him anymore.

Oh well. I don't have time for this right now.

"Let's grab our stuff then and we'll meet you downstairs, okay Tina?" Namjoon announced. I nodded and they began to clear out of the room.

Okay. So far, so good. Everything seems fine. He didn't recognize me.

Wait.

He didn't recognize me. Why do I feel offended? Maybe it's because for years we were glued to the hip. Maybe because once upon a time we meant absolutely everything to each other. I was there for him when absolutely no one else was.

He really just forgot about me? I should have figured from the half of our photograph in his room that he put me away as part of his past a long time ago.

Why did I feel hurt though? This was what I wanted.

And I know how hard they've worked these past five years. It has been a really long time and they must have gone through so much more than anyone outside of this inner BigHit circle could realize. Maybe even anyone outside their own personal circle.

Should I really be upset about it, considering how poorly we ended? How heinously I just ran away without a word after our last blow out? Regardless, I did feel upset. However, this is not going to fly. I need to get it together for the sake of the job that I took for unknown reasons that I still can't personally figure out.

I didn't even realize how lost I was in my own thoughts when an eerily familiar voice brought me back to reality. Brought me back to realize exactly what I've been missing. The one thing I didn't think through because I was caught up in the insane storm that is Jimin.

In front of my own eyes, he was there, eyeing me, seeing me, watching me, remembering me. It was the biggest mistake I could neglect to catch.

"Wow, he doesn't remember you at all, does he?"

I turned to meet the gaze that has been piercing my soul since I put it together.

"Do not mention a thing to him."

"Why not?" He quizzed, turning his head. He wanted to know what my intentions were. He was always very protective of him when they became friends after BigHit. I have greatly appreciated that over the past few years.

"Things ended much worse than you could imagine" I kept my cold blank eyes to his. I wanted him to know just how serious I was about this.

"Oh I know what happened, do you?"

Goddammit. How the hell could I forget that Taehyung went to high school with us?

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Okay so part f i v e! Now, the fun can really begin 😈 Please let me know what you think. Questions, comments concerns. And thanks so much for reading!

-Me