Disruption • P.JM

s i x

I just stood there, waiting, frozen. What was coming next? Tae just stood there staring back at me. I thought I was going to vomit all over the floor, but I had to keep my composure.

"You should tell him, you know. He's tried pushing you out of his mind completely, but you know Jimin. You know how much he loves you. Do you know what this will do to you if he figures it out on his own?"

"Loved." Was all I could say back to him.

"What?" He slightly tilted his head and squinted his eyes at me, the confusion all over his face.

"He loved me. And I knew him. You know him. I don't anymore, and clearly he doesn't know me anymore." I laughed a little. "He doesn't even recognize me anymore." I tried to smile, it barely showed up on my face.

The flight with the added exhaustion of this entire situation was starting to take a toll on me, and it was definitely showing. It didn't really help that Jimin not remembering me at all was affecting me as well. That's to be expected though, right?

It really did end horribly. However, remembering the sweet young boy that I got to watch blossom into the beauty that he is, now is genuinely blurring into what he is now. I can look at him and see the side that I knew, only for the realization of who he ended up being, take over.

It was making it hard to decipher my feelings; I knew that. But during the daylight, I had to put the thoughts away. I can deal with my mental frenzy at night. Right now, I had to go with the flow, my flow.

"Still as stubborn as ever, aren't you? Never going to let a single thing bother you. Not even with Jimin? Doesn't it hurt feeling forgotten?"

"It is what it is Tae, his life went on, clearly, and so did mine. This is just a job, let's just get through this album and tour, and we'll move—"

"You have no idea what you did to him, do you?" He spat, cutting me off.

It was silent. Absolute silence; a feather could have been heard if it was dropped. No, I didn't know. I don't think I ever wanted to know. The way we hurt each other back then was unbearable.

I couldn't even say which end of it was worse. It was hard that he hurt me and he let others hurt me after all that we had been through, but it absolutely shattered me saying the things I said to him. I knew leaving and running back to the states without a word to him would break his heart.

I knew that the worst thing I could do was abandon him. He hated feeling alone; he always needed someone...he needed me. Or so he used to say. He seems to be doing just fine though, now.

Six best friends, an unbelievable career, traveling the world, fans going crazy over him guys and girls. No wonder he forgot about me, he's got so much more to deal with, to live for. That makes me both sad and happy; I can't help it, I never could when it came to him.

"What are you two doing?"

That voice could've snapped me out of a coma; it was still so sweet sounding. We both turned our heads to him. I was nervous; Taehyung had better not say anything.

"We were just talking. I was being polite and getting to know our new manager. Are you ready to go, Noona?"

That fuck. He knew I hated that. I was older than both Taehyung and Jimin by a little over a year. I never liked being called that by Taehyung because I never wanted Jimin to call me that. It made me feel old and realistically, I can honestly say that I never wanted to feel like an older sister or older anything to Jimin.