Disruption • P.JM

e i g h t e e n

I barely made it back down into my room and locked my door shut. 

I had apologized to everyone as I ran back down, away from all of them. Thankfully, no one tried to stop me. 

The thought of what I had just witnessed wouldn't leave my brain and I desperately wanted it to stop. I couldn't sit around feeling all of this. 

Sure, it was dark out, but this was too much. My breathing began staggering so hard it made me cough. 

I recognized this feeling. 

The tears sliding down my cheeks brought me back to the day I left Seoul. I dropped to the ground in front of my door and leaned myself back to try and stabilize myself. I was having a panic attack. 

My tears were blurring my vision as my breathing got louder. I couldn't relax. I huddled my knees up to my chest and tucked my head in between them. I tried to take deep breaths. 

I didn't mean to hurt him last night. If I knew, I wouldn't have kissed Jungkook.

Jimin P.O.V.

I could hear Dahye shouting, but I couldn't hear what exactly it was that she was shouting about. The only thing replaying in my head was Tina's face when she saw us. 

The way she went from frantic to destroyed the moment she seemed to process what she was looking at. She deserved it though after everything she kept doing to me. 

All the flirting she did with Jungkook in front of me, throwing a personal mistake in my face after we kissed, and then kissing Jungkook in front of me. I'd had enough of being played around with by these girls like I didn't have feelings of my own. 

After what happened years ago, I decided I would never let another girl treat me like that. It became clear to me all those years ago that I was never going to be liked the way I was; I was never going to be loved or be cared for. 

Everyone wanted a certain version of myself, and that's what I was giving them. But those moments, those certain moments that made me weak with this Tina, reminded me so much of how weak I could be with my Tina. 

It's almost laughable; they have the same name and they both make me feel so vulnerable. That's why I've been so angry with her. So, she deserved this...didn't she? 

So, why couldn't I shake this guilty feeling over my heart?

My thoughts were interrupted by Dahye's most recent statement.

"That fucking American bitch." I turned to her; she was still on my bed, naked. 

She was an attractive girl, but the second she said it, I remembered Seulgi and I remembered what words like this have caused me. And at this moment, I couldn't figure out how I let her get in here with me.

"Shut your fucking mouth." I warned her. 

If I have to hear that 'f' word again, I was really going to lose it.

"What? Now, you're defending the foreign girl? She's the one who walk—" 

I put my hands to my head, trying not to pull my hair out.

"Get out. Get the fuck out of here you fucking whore!" My throated scratched at how loud I was as I stood up, slamming my fist into my nightstand and she flew off the bed. 

I was scaring her and maybe it was wrong for me to call her that. I invited her to our hotel and to my room, but right now I didn't care. What she was saying was justification enough in my head.