Disruption • P.JM

f o r t y

Tina P.O.V.

I watched Jimin as he slept peacefully in his bed. I haven't been able to fall asleep. I laid there in his arms until his breathing slowed and I knew I could move off the bed.

My heart was racing throughout the night. I don't know how I could let things get so twisted. The thoughts of everything wouldn't leave my brain and now my brain won't let me sleep.

I deserve this.

But it would be okay if I could keep Seulgi away for this to all work out in the end.

I just couldn't be comfortable in his room anymore tonight. It was suffocating looking at that damn picture frame. I picked it up to look at his beaming smile before I turned the frame to pull out the picture and flip it over.

Upon opening the frame I found a few ripped pieces of paper falling to the ground. Confused, I picked up the scraps to get a better look. Jimin was never the type to be messy. I flipped them over to see that they were scraps of ripped paper. They were pieces of the ripped photo, tucked behind the half that was fully intact.

There wasn't much to be seen in the four ripped pieces, although I could vaguely make out my eye in one of the pieces. One of the bigger pieces was torn slightly down the middle. The others just seemed to be bits of my face.

Jimin never really let me go, did he?

He may have already forgotten what I looked like, but he kept the few pieces of me he had left. It only added to the weight of the guilt in my heart. I put the pieces back behind the picture and returned the frame to its spot.

I could feel my breathing quicken as my anxiety set in. I could control all of this during the day, but for so many days I felt like a mess. If Jimin didn't hate me before for leaving, he's definitely going to hate me for putting him through all of this. 

And if he were to find out that I was sitting lying to him about going out with Kang, well, at that point, I'd let him kill me.

I got off the bed to try to sleep in my own room since I couldn't sit by him peacefully anymore. While Jimin was a source of peace for me before, being near him now was only making me panic. I couldn't decide whether protecting him or being with him was more important for me anymore. 

Was it wrong to be so selfish with him?

I didn't get very far before I heard him stirring. I froze in my place hoping my silence would allow him to fall back asleep.

"Tina?" He grumbled out half asleep, "Where are you going?"

"Go back to sleep, I have to be up soon so I'm going back to my room." I moved my feet forward to the door until he spoke again.

"Wait. Come back here."

I stayed planted in my spot for a moment, hesitating, before turning back around towards his bed.

"Jimin, I have to take Hoseok to his shoot today and—"

"Just come here for a minute and talk to me." He pulled himself up against the headboard of his bed, keeping from falling back asleep. I felt terrible about it; he had only been asleep for a couple of hours.

I walked back over to his bed and sat on the edge, facing his tired gaze. He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and ran his hands through his hair. I stayed silent in my seat.

"Don't do this." He said grimly.

"Do what?"

"Don't keep things from me. Tell me what's wrong so I can fix it." He leaned forward and took a hold of my hand. I felt nauseous that through all of this, he was still trying to protect me.