Disruption • P.JM

t w e n t y o n e

Tina P.O.V.

About 40 minutes and what felt like buckets of tears later, I finally managed to explain everything to them. Getting drunk with Jimin, forgetting we kissed, what I said to him, the bar, Serena and finally Benjamin. 

By the time I was finished, the boys' mouths were wide open in awe.

"Are you okay?" Yoongi finally spoke.

"Yeah. I think so. It was pretty fucked, but I'm fine." 

It wasn't a complete lie. 

Physically, I was fine, but mentally, I was so exhausted. Everything that has happened the past few days was only weighing my heart down. I don't know if I can keep this up. I don't know how much more of this charade I can attempt to portray or how much more of this I can carry. 

I feel worthless; I feel cheap and I feel like this was the biggest mistake I could have made. Maybe this was my punishment for deserting Jimin all those years ago. Maybe this is some of the pain he's felt over the years. 

Whether it was God or karma or whatever, I felt like I have had my fill, but I knew I was deserving of this. I was too tired to even feel anymore, too tired to care about what to do next and too tired move.

"So, Jimin has no idea that you didn't remember any of this shit because he doesn't know you're you and he thinks you were with some guy when you just got so fucking hammered and almost ra—"

"Yes, Joon. All that." 

I hate that word, I didn't want to hear it; the idea of that word being spoken out loud was adding knots to my stomach.

"What are you going to do?" Tae asked as he scooted to my side and pulled me to lean on him.

"Nothing." I softly said, "You guys were right. This is all wrong; I shouldn't have come back, to begin with, and I can't keep putting Jimin through this."

"Jimin isn't completely innocent here." Yoongi stated.

"Yeah because of me. I can't push him further down the hole. It's not fair."

"Well, what about you!?" Joon spoke, motioning towards me.

"Don't worry about me. I'll be fine."

"So, you're just going to leave him again?" 

Tae's words made my heart heavier than it already was. I could barely respond.

"It's not like he's fond of me anyway. He'll probably be happier if I am gone." 

They exchanged gazes before Taehyung finally turned back to me.

"Listen, Jimin might be acting like an asshole to you right now, but he hasn't cared this much in a while." 

I was trying to process the words, but I felt indifferent. I looked at Tae just waiting for him to continue. 

"He goes out of his way to bother you because he wants your attention. Clearly, your friendship never actually died because he instantly clung himself to you. It is fucked, but this is him caring about you. He gets so jealous over you. Last night he was desperate to go talk to you; he threw Dahye out of the hotel. God knows what she said to set him off."

I scrunched my eyebrows in confusion. Jimin wanted to come to talk to me last night? 

"I guess I convinced him to let you breathe last night because he was waiting for me to fall asleep so that he could come and see you. And this morning..." His words trailed off.