Conflicted

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You might not find it that interesting but guess what you don't have to read it, I just felt like writing it. And since I wrote it that means I have the power! Me!

....Ah who am I kidding, we both know you have the power.

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Carter shoved her hands into her pockets, the bag hanging off her shoulder feeling heavier than usual. As she climbed the stairs to the apartment, she heard muffled laughter and paused outside the door.

The sound was familiar by now, Maggie's light laugh entwining with her father's deep one. There was a harmony to it that spoke of happiness. Carter reached for the door handle but stopped, hand hovering above it.

When more laughter echoed from inside, she turned away and headed back down the stairs, away from the apartment and the abundance of happiness. The lane was growing dim as the sun sank into the horizon.

Without thinking, Carter walked, her feet eventually taking her to the neighborhood playground. It was empty, the fading light and chilly night ushering children indoors. The gate whined as she pushed it open. Leaving her bag by the opening, she walked over the wood chip ground to the swing set, settling onto one.

Curling one leg up, she hugged it and pushed her foot against the carved out hole beneath her, making herself sway. Around her, the glow of windows cast patches of illumination on the old wooden play-set. Without touching it, Carter knew that it would creak and groan underfoot. Knew that if you run across its bridge too fast that it would shudder. The tremble adding a hint of excitement and adventure.

The evening was windless and so there were no whispers to fill the silence hanging about Carter. There were no voices to be tugged out of homes and sent floating on the breeze. There was nothing to offer comfort to the lone figure rocking back and forth on the swing.

As if having somehow knowing this, the gate creaked open.

But Carter didn't look back. Didn't take her eyes off the sight of childhood.

A shadow trailed forward and behind it was Donovan.

He took the swing beside hers and sat down, wrapping his hands around the chains.

For a while, neither of them said anything, as they were thrown back to a time where they were little kids and friendship was a tentative dance of being next to each other but not saying anything.

"What was the last thing you said to your parents?" Carter asked the night.

Donovan peered over at her, but she didn't meet his gaze.

"I told my mother that I'd call her later and that I loved her. My father I said that I would take his advice and would talk to him soon. Why?"

Carter didn't respond to his answer or give one of her own. She pushed against the ground again putting her back in a gentle swing.

"Did you know my mother used to take me to this playground?"

Donovan knew the question wasn't one that needed a reply and so gave none.

"She would stay on the ground and chase me about the structure as I would run away."

Carter could see so clearly the half-laughing smile of her mother's as she roared as if she were a dragon Carter had to flee from. It was all a game. All an act of playing with her daughter. Until it wasn't.

But it hadn't been Carter that fled for the last time.

"The last thing I told my mother was that if I ever wanted to talk to her again I would let her know and then I left."

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