Loving November Grace

35

(Updated 34 and 35) This is a little extreme, but we like a daddy Cole. So yeah steam and a little roughness ahead, nothing tooo bad but be awareeee... 

Also shout out to the lovely RawaAlfaraway , your comment on chapter 33 made me so so happy! 

I hope everyone has a nice day- 

I stare at his name on Cole's chest, so close to his fucking heart and I put all the pieces together.

"You okay?" He whispers and I nod numbly.

"November."

"I knew Ryan."

His body tenses and he looks at me seriously.

"Ryan Harper?"

I cringe. Fuck off, what a fucking disaster.

"Yes." I choke and pull myself away from him.

Oh god.

My breathing becomes shallow and I look up at him, waiting for him to realise what I did, for him to just read it on my face but he just doesn't.

"Oh, it makes sense Nove, he was there a lot."

"Zane." I say, my eyes widening.

"Yeah?"

"I didn't know." I say and my heart starts hurting. Zane was a nice boy, quiet and very close with Dylan. Oh Dylan. Oh shit, Zane is dead, what the actual fuck?

"You know Dylan?" I ask and he shrugs.

"Only slightly."

We are way too connected. Our lives way too interlinked.

He would hate me.

If he knew. 

If he knew how Ryan felt about me, or said he felt about me, how he defended me against Yuen that night outside a club and how Yuen realised I was sleeping with him too.

The reason why Yuen stabbed him.

It wouldn't have killed him if he hadn't fucking moved. Yuen went for the lower abdomen, he would have been fucking fine. Yuen had stabbed him before, after I woke up on his lap. 

But this time, Ry lowered himself in fear, it went straight into the liver apparently, big veins, a lot of blood. The medic couldn't save him, the ambulance couldn't save him.

Yuen said it was a rival. I was too scared to say any different.

It was Cole's boy, his mate.

Fuck.

A lump rises in my throat and my eyes burn.

Oh.

I feel myself getting teary and I look away from him, collecting my paint brushes and pallet and wobbling to my feet.

"What's wrong love?" He says softly and I look up.

"I didn't know Zane was dead." I say my voce shaking, partially lying, I was on the verge of tears because I was the reason why Cole mourned for his friend. 

But also when I think about it , Zane, it was devastating. 

Zane was a good one, if he cleaned himself up he would have made it through. I press my lips together and walk into my kitchen, remembering when Cole said about how it was drugs.

Oh god Dylan, he would have been distraught.

I was pretty sure they were seeing each other, secretly. Dylan adored him.