Loving November Grace

42

ENJOY AND leave comments because I would love to know what you thinkkkkk

 Cole is my baby so here is him getting his shit back together and deciding to just go for it. Lolllll

Also shoutout to bellecompton because I feel like you have been with me and my writing for so long!! ty for you consistent reads and support<3

Friday

"Do you want breakfast?" Rosie asks me and I nod.

I don't really. But we are being actively human today.

Rose stayed the night. She even conjured up dinner for us, she didn't know that she was helping me but she was.

"I have therapy in like twenty minutes." I say quietly and she nods.

"Okay, well may as well get some food down our necks before I go and convince Linc that I was not up to what he thought I was." She says and I laugh.

Poor Linc.

"You are going to burst his bubble."

"Yeah well he was a little too excited if you ask me." She says and I send her an amused smile.

I took the antidepressants again last night. I think they are working already, the brain fog seems to have gone and I am not beating myself up on the inside anymore.

But I still feel a little awful.

But awful enough to realise that I feel awful and the I needed to tell Tristan a little about what has been going on.

Not about me medicating myself. Because he knows that antidepressants trigger mania and I refuse to get forced off of them. I just want to feel better. Next time I wont do anything bad, I will catch it earlier, I will tell people.

Now I just feel so far gone.

But I am digging myself out. Which I can't be proud of myself for, obviously. But I am trying here.

I chose option B, option A I am sure everyone would have been more mad about.

"You want some toast?"

"Please." I say and sit up.

I wonder over to my draws and pull out a lazy outfit. I wasn't going to get dressed for Tristan. What was the point?

"Jam or?"

"Just whatever." I call to Rosie as she hums around my kitchen.

Sage replied saying she was jealous but that she couldn't come over last night. And they invited me to go out tonight but I didn't think that was a good idea.

And I am now from this point forward trying to be less self-destructive.

...

I told Tristan how I think I have fallen from a 5 to a 2.

I think it was lower than that a few days ago, but currently.

He got what I was saying and listened to me.

But I didn't have much to say. It was just that.

It was really hard to fill the time. When you aren't open to talking.

But he managed it.

He asked a lot of questions that I shrugged to. But at least I told him the truth.

The truth for me is always a little complicated.

Because, for one, when I tell the truth I am telling a truth it just isn't necessarily the whole truth. But does that make it a lie?