Love Maze | BTS Poly

The Truth Untold

"What's cookin', good-lookin'?" Seokjin wonders as he lazily strolls into the kitchen. He approaches the back of me, wrapping his arms around my waist, but the hug leaves as quick as it came.

"Are you hungry? I made a ton of pancakes."

Cooking the members breakfast is a small way of showing my appreciation. For everything. Especially recently. I know I wasn't a pleasure to be around, however, they stood by me in spite of the sadness. I owe them a million meals for their kindness. I also meant to cook for them the first morning we spent together, but they had a rehearsal to attend. So a million meals owed may be an understatement. A billion is more accurate.

"I'm starving," he responds, resting his chin on my shoulder to watch what I'm doing. Seokjin is the main cook of the group, so I'm surprised he isn't correcting my mistakes. Because there's a lot of them. Even though I suck at cooking, I try my best. And I'm trying my best not to set anything on fire. It's happened more than I'd like to admit. I'm the reason my family has had to replace the microwave twice.

"Could you get the coffee started for me? I'll be finished soon."

"Sure thing."

I thank him and redirect my attention back to the batter. That's when I hear heavy footsteps. Looking up, I see Jungkook jogging towards the stove.

"Hi, Noona!" he beams once he reaches me. "I smell pancakes."

"You have a good nose," I chortle. "Would you like orange juice or coffee to drink?"

"Orange juice, please."

"Have a seat and I'll bring you a glass," I tell him, walking to the refrigerator. The rest of the members file in one by one over the next few minutes as they wake up. I load up their plates with pancakes and fruit, aiming to give them a full belly and lots of energy for the day. After I have served everyone, I then settle in between Taehyung and Namjoon at the table.

The seven of them dive into their food which brings a grin to my face. I was worried it would be gross since I'm a terrible cook, but it seems to be a hit.

Hallelujah.

I eat slowly due to the nerves fluttering in my chest. Yoongi locks eyes with me, reading my mind. His reassuring countenance calms the uneasiness.

Gaining a teensy bout of confidence, I ask, "When we're done eating, can we talk?"

"What about?" Namjoon inquires.

"Us," I reply.

"Of course. Everything okay?" 

"Mhm."

At least I hope it will be.

We continue eating and chatting leisurely, but there's awkwardness in the atmosphere. I'm more than likely the reason for that environment. Following breakfast, Hoseok volunteers to clean up. I trail behind the rest of the guys to the patio. It's a bright, warm morning and it feels nice to have the sun on my skin. It's been fairly cloudy lately which put a damper on our spirits. I usually enjoy those types of days, but when you're down in the dumps, it can make things worse.

We rest beneath the umbrella, the rays no longer able to blind us. The beating of my heart is rapid and my palms begin to sweat. I've been putting off this conversation for quite a while. Yoongi has asked me many times over the last couple of days about when I was planning to talk to everyone. I would just tell him that I wasn't ready. Which is true...sort of.

I fear getting spurned. Although my split with Misun wasn't horrible (thanks to many distractions), I don't want to experience the pain of heartbreak again. The sting of rejection hurts. Unfortunately, it's bound to happen later down the road. I'm still very young, after all.