FANFICTION REVIEWS

ELEMENTS

REVIEW#95

GENRE: FANFICTION, FANTASY

BY: Y-O-U-N-G-W-O-M-A-N

STATUS: ON-GOING

SUMMARY:

The biggest K-pop boy band has disappeared from the Earth, only to be teleported to an unknown world where fantasy creatures became a reality.

A new journey with new set of goals to test their friendship, loyalty and their patience.

A ride with both enjoyment and complication.

Would BTS be able to take this new ride and complete their goal to be there.

Will these 7 boys be able to rescue the unknown world of fantasies?Let's see the trip BTS has taken which none of them have dreamt off!

REVIEW:

Hello! First of all, I want to thank the author for waiting on this review and I'm so sorry it took so long, but I hope this review could really help you.

First, I was excited to read the book, I could say you have a good prologue to start on for the book, telling the readers on what was happening and how it happened, it was a good start and I was enjoying the first few chapters of the book, but then I notice some things that the author could improve on.

I would address on the grammatical errors, I'm not someone who should really judge on people's grammar mistake especially since English is not my first language, but I do realise some major mistake. I don't usually point out these kinds of mistake because it was not significant to ruin the whole story. But it's important to have it clear out. The grammar of the story was a bit misplace and you're using words that are confusing not that you are using difficult words but the grammar structure was a bit off.

for example on chapter two when you explain about Seokjin, you repeated his name over and over again when you could have used other pronouns of words that could explain him. The flow of the paragraphs becomes into a one sentences structure like I don't know if this was intentional or not or you did plan making it this way, but it becomes confusing for me to read. I would suggest you find some other conjunctions to use in your story. Again I suggest you proofread first, since the plot you are making is a complicated one, so the grammar is the key. you don't have to make it confusing or using words that might throw readers off.

Another thing I would like to address is that you are writing a story, and I know the genre you chose to write is not easy. I would even admit to myself that fantasy is not an easy thing to write but it's one of the genres that helps people write better because you'll have to explain what had happened in the story. I wouldn't mind a picture or two in the book, I mean I understand you would want the readers to be able to visualize the scene, but again you are writing a book. How readers could grasp the feels in your book is when they could understand the story because the visualize it themselves. I would suggest you use pictures for a necessary scene, and if you can maximalize how to write the situation the characters are in rather than putting out pictures. I mean for me personally what makes a good book is when the author could explain to me what happened as I visualized them.

Personally, I like to read books that don't really have any pictures, it makes me visualise the scene and I was able to grasp the emotion and the situation of the story.

But overall I'm excited how you're going to deliver the plot in this story, you have so many characters that you need to build, and trust me it's not going to be easy, but I'm rooting for you for the success of the story. I do hope one day you'll become a much better writer. But don't worry I think so far you've done a great job in writing just keep up on the good work alright?

Please, feel free if you want to ask me about your story, I would gladly answer all your question and I'm waiting on the next chapters!