FANFICTION REVIEWS

DANCING ON THIN ICE

REVIEW#96

GENRE: FANFICTION

BY: JBandJHope

STATUS: ON-GOING

CONTAIN MATURE SCENE SUCH AS SEX

SUMMARY:

"I... I don't really know what to say... but all I can think is... I just wanna fucking kiss you already." He growled against Carmela's panting mouth and her legs trembled beneath her.

The club was dancing around them, glittering people moving to the music, but Carmela couldn't notice them anymore. She could only see the dark curly hair and soft lips of the drunk boy in front of her.

"Tae... I--"

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Carmela Lee suddenly meets a group of boys and finds herself tumbling into their world. As the band's choreographer, she must teach them how to dance and perform. But the tables are turned when she forms a special relationship with... Taehyung, a witty and handsome (a.k.a hella hot!) boy from the group.

A sudden, deadly rape crime leads to a spiral of secrets and Carmela's life is twisted. As criminals and traitors unfold, Carmela is caught between love and justice. Every step a new secret uncovers. Who is truly on her side? 

REVIEW:

Hello! I'm so sorry for taking so long on the review and thank you so much for waiting. Now for the review, what can I say about the book, it's hectic, but in a good way.

First of all, you really are dedicated in writing and I can see by how many chapters you had published and I think that deserves a round of applause for that dedication. 

Now, after reading the book, I think as for right now you're doing a great job, I don't really see any grammatical mistake, which I often see, and it was fun to read.

But, I would like to address the structure of the story, you do realise you have very long sentences for one paragraph? I don't mean it in a bad way, but I do suggest putting some space on it, it could be tiring for someone to read, and it could make someone misunderstood the story if you don't space. I also notice the author likes to express certain words, emotion and quirks with capitalizing which is totally fine since it could be the authors' style of writing but again put on some space to that. 

Second, the plot of the story is really interesting with a bit of plot twist here and there, well for me that is. But I would discuss on the emotion of the chapters. The book have a sex scene on it, and I don't about you, I felt that it wasn't the kind of intense sex scene, something light but very sexy. I couldn't grasp the scene, I couldn't feel the intense feeling of the book and for me, in the end, it feels a bit cringey. I'm not advising you to write a much better sex scene because we all have our limits on writing stuff like that. But I suggest writing how the characters were feeling and the emotion of the room on how tense it was, how steamy it was. It could really be useful for those who don't want to write an extreme sex scene, a detailed one that is. With writing out the emotion of the room readers could decide how steamy and raw the feels of the book.

But overall, there was nothing wrong in the book that could really mess things up, I really think you did a good job in writing. I'm rooting for you and your constant updates, good luck!