part 38✨

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I had clothes at his house so i didn't need to go home, niko did too so we just decided to walk with them instead of go home. I took a shower and did my hair wavy i also put on this white silk dress with butterfly heels. Everyone was already ready and waiting on me but you couldn't rush perfection. This was the one day out of the week i got to dress up, anyway i threw on some perfume and grabbed my bag. I was walking down the stairs looking at my phone and said "let's go now we're gonna be late and stop staring at me like that babe". Niko said "damn y/n you look amazing and where did you get theirs heels from", i said "we can go shopping next month for my birthday". She squealed and agreed me and her walked there together and just talked about the shoes. I was trying to fix her mascara because she did not know how to do makeup at all, this girl needed a lot of work. We arrived and the boys reserved the table while i took niko to the bathroom, i fixed her makeup and added a bit of glitter. We took pictures and walked back out and sat with the boys, me and ushijima sat
on the corner so i was just on his lap on my phone.

He put his chin on my shoulder and was just watching me on my phone, i men's i had nothing to hide so it was fine. Everyone started to walk in and coach wasn't there i was a bit worried because she was like MIA recently. I all of a sudden got a text from her and it said "call me asap y/n", she never says that i panicked and looked and ushijima. I got up and walked outside to talk to her, i called her and she was crying. I asked her what was wrong and what she told me was just so unexpected, it was about my parents. Coach told me that she went to Russia where they were because she got a call that they had been in a car wreck. I was full blown panicking like crazy i didn't know what to think, i said "tell me they are alive coach". She sighed and said "yes they are but don't try to come down here they want you to stay", i said "no i have to they are my parents".

She cut me off and i heard my mom i said "mom are you ok please tell me you are". She said she and my dad were fine but just in case something ever happened there was a safe in their bedroom with the will. I couldn't stop panicking by this point i was pacing like crazy and i never paced i just shut down. She said she and my dad loved me and would call me and update me soon but for now i needed to prepare for anything. Coach got back on the phone and said "i'm gonna stay with them for the time being but i'm gonna send you some stuff to go over with the team.
She said that whatever happened i had a job to do and i'm also gonna have to run tryouts with Sakura. I agreed and got off the phone i went straight to the bathroom. I looked in the mirror and just stared at myself and then i just kept getting flashbacks, from when all the time i argued with them. To when they left me from when they helped me when kageyama hurt met. FUCK i screamed i was so mad and sad i just didn't know what to do, life was just taking punches left and right.

I went back to the table and got their attention i said "we have a bit of an issue going on with coach for from now on you girls are under my wing, sakura will be here from time to time but i am in charge. Coach is dealing with something for me so that i can be here for you guys, the next two weeks your gonna be working hard while me and Sakura do tryouts. After that we all ordered our food and ate, after that i just wasn't hungry. We all enjoyed ourselves and went home ushijima was worried because the whole walk i was just looking at the ground. He stopped me and said "babe what's on your mind?" i told him and he was mortified. I usually would have been balling my eyes out but i have a job to do, tryouts and school are coming up. I went to bed that night with ushijima holding me tight, i woke up to a call at about 2am and i knew. I answered and she told me the news she told me that they said they wanted to be cremated into a necklace for me. No funeral no goodbye just gone for a moment i just sat there and couldn't move, they hurt me so bad and i didn't get to fix it all the way.


I cried like never before and my heart was completely crushed, ushijima woke up and automatically knew. He grabbed me while i screamed and cried, i ended up waking up the whole house and i just didn't care my parents were dead.
I don't remember falling asleep but i woke up to ushijima holding me just like last night, i kissed him and went to take a shower. I had to go home and get the house cleaned up, i left without a word but i kissed him just so he would know i was here. I got home and dropped my stuff it was about 6am, i went in and read their will for me. There was a large sum of money for college and after colleges but no amount of money would bring my parents back. I didn't cry i just read the letter over and over again, you would think i would have sobbed like no other but i couldn't. The pain was unbearable but i had a team to deal with and i know that's what my parents would have wanted. I took my pills and got dressed to practice, coach texted me and said she would be back in 2 days. I told sakura to get groceries while i dealt with practice, and off i went.

I got there a bit early and started working on postitons and stuff, i didn't speak to anyone i just couldn't. I was working on that till they all got there, i sat the girls down and said "today your gonna partner and do partner drills, then i'm gonna work with you guys sepreatly and then we are gonna put it all together". They agreed and practice went on and i didn't say too much and i didn't say too less, my parents knew that this was my passion. My third year was going to be for them and them only, practice was dismissed and i stayed after. I was working on my spikes and decided to make myself a list of workouts that i could do to perfect myself. I was so caught up in writing that i didn't even realize that ushijima was sitting next to me. I sighed and put my head on his shoulder, he kissed my forhead and rubbed my back. I wanted to cry but i couldn't there was just no point, they were gone and my one job was to show them how good i am at what i do.

If they never would have left i never would have met these amazing people, after that i went home and all day was just working on volleyball stuff. I'm guessing coach told Tendous mom becsuse she said she was coming over tonight. I agreed and she only came over for a little bit but she was just showing her respect and making sure i was ok. The next two weeks went by really slow i was just kind of going through the motions, volleyball, ushijima, workout sleep and repeat. I was feeling so much emotional pain but i just pushed it down because the world wasn't gonan stop so neither am i. After two weeks of not talking and just doing stuff for volleyball it was time for tryouts. This was the first time i was excited for something since you know, anyway there were 7 girls who wanted to try out. We did introductions, drills and just simple stuff so i could see how they played, 3 girls left because they couldn't take the pressure.

The last 4 girls were good but there were two who struck my eye, but they didn't like each other at all. I laughed because they were just like Hinata and Kageyama, anyways tryout ended and i said i would come to a decision tomorrow. I was showing the girls how to do certain stuff to try and figure out their positions, they were super fast learners and i lover their energy. But they had an attutide on them that's was almost worse than me and i was not having it, but they would learn soon enough that i don't play. Everyone was so worried about me because i was kinda just seperated from the world, i was there but i wasn't. Ushijima tried hard but there was nothing he could but be there for me, i ended up staying with him for the first week because the room haunted me. Eventually i got used to it and when coach came back she emptied it out and did what she had to do. She gave me my necklace and i wore it and never took it off, there was also a pin with them on it for when i couldn't wear it during games.

I was talking a bit more and getting back to my regular things, i wasn't so quiet i was just a bit more to myself. I lost the people who took care of me for god knows how long, there was no coping for that it was only healing. I promised myself to do my very best in all aspects of life for them, so i put my very best into being a good captain. I was starting to go out a bit more and dress up a bit more, it felt a little good to not be so sad and numb. Back at volleyball i gave the four girls a spot because i was so much potential in them, my main concern was kumi and tori. They hated each other like crazy and had an attutide that pissed me off, during their first day they couldn't stop arguing. I was so pissed at them i said "hey hold the fuck up if you guys are gonna argue ok my court becsuse you guys can't get over your differences then get the fuck out." Everyone was so shocked but they didn't do anything about it because i was clutching to my necklace, and when they happened everyone knew to not say a word.

The next two weeks we all spent getting to know the first years and teach them how to play. Cho and Yoshi were more like Azumi and Mikasa because they were shy and they were all working on stepping out of their shells. Now kumi and tori they were more like me than they thought, they had a passion for this and had an attitude that could kill. Our team was a really good team and we all started to get used to each other and better at the game. As time progressed i got a lot better with dealing with my parents. Ushijima never let a day go by where he didn't tell me he was proud of me, honestly it was nice having him tell me that. A month after my parents died i was fine now, ans school was starting back up in a a few days. My birthday was also coming up but so was ushijimas we had the same birthdays week. His was on a monday and mine was on a thursday, i was a little excited because this was the first birthday we spent together. Not to mention that we are about to hit our one year anniversary of dating.

~to be continued~

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