She asked me "if i do end it, will i be able to recover". She cried a lot more and eventually fell asleep. I went to bed and made sure i got the groceries delivered to the door. I woke up early and ushijima was still asleep on the couch, the girls were up and they helped me make blue berry pancakes. Ushijima woke up and was really confused, i told him i'd tell him later. We ate breakfast with the girls and they ended up leaving a bit later, i was so sleepy from doing all that stuff. I laid on the couch and ushijima curled right back up to me, i said "babe what's going on you've been quiet since the game last night". He said "just tired is all angel", oh now i was worried because he barely called me that. I took and nap and when i woke up ushijima was in the shower, i decided to go clean up the guest room. After that i got ready and threw on the blue satin dress with the heels, and some cute earrings. I loved getting dressed up it was just fun and compliments were also a bonus.
Ushijima came out in a white tank and some ripped jeans with air forces. This man knew how to clean up like crazy and i was amazed every time, my favorite was these kinds of outfits. Anyway he was helping me curl my hair when my phone rang, i told ushijima to answer it and he did. He put it on speaker and i said "hello", it was Azumi she said "y/n i did it i ended it". Her sobs were so sad and wholesome i knew she loved him still, i said "you did the right thing, Azumi listen to me right now you did the right thing". You shouldn't hurt yourself for somebody else because in the end it's not worth it, we talked for a bit while i curled my hair. Eventually we got off the phone and headed to the party, we got there and i was just socializing with everyone. I said i wasn't gonna get drunk but at this point i was like fuck it.
I was only drinking a little bit so that at least i didn't have to have ushijima pick me up to take me to the car. I was on the couch with Kuro talking about our relationship or whatever when Kuro was staring at me like he was scared. I said "why are you staring at me like that", he said "not you but be-behind you". I turned around and my heart dropped, him and some girl were dancing and they were close. A little too close he pushed her off a bit and they just stood there and talked for a few moments. Then he gave her his jacket and right then and there my heart just kind of shattered. Everything we built together all of the time we said endgame, bullshit. Kuro said "y/n i'm so sorry do you want me to" i cut him off and grabbed the bottle of Vodka and chugged it. Kuro tried to take it out of my hand and i said "don't fucking touch me".
I went to dance with Mai and we were just dancing and hoeing around, because right now i wasn't in the right head space. I just remember a lot of drinking and led lights and Kuro constantly pulling me away. I checked my phone and it was like 1 in the morning, then i remember ushijima telling me it was time to go. He tried to pick me up but i pushed him and told him "i can walk fine by my damn self", the whole drive home was just drunk me humming to music. I was chugging water trying to make myself sober, when we got home i went straight to the room and locked the door. I changed and opened it back up and went to the guest room, he said "come to bed y/n it's late". I said "no fuck you", he said "what is wrong because i know your not completely drunk if you can lock doors".
I said "i saw you with that really pretty girl at the party and you guys were dancing together and you gave her your jacket. so yeah like i said fuck you". He said "we can talk about this in the morning" ans left the room. I fell asleep right after that and woke up around noon, ushijima was out and about so i took a shower and cleaned the house a bit. When he got home i simply sat on the couch and ignored him, he said "babe we need to talk". I said " hm i guess we do don't we". He said "cut the bullshit y/n i know your mad and you have every right to be but can i at least explain myself". I said "yeah it's probably not gonna help your case but whatever", he rolled his eyes and started talking. he said "she's my ex her name is liz or liza, she asked me to dance so that we could talk. She started getting all close and i pushed her away and then she said she was cold so i gave her my jacket. I was just trying to be a gentlemen".
I said "yeah i get what your saying but i really have nothing to say to you but i do have one question. Do you still have love for her, because when i told you thsg i still had love for Kageyama it didn't mean i'd ever pull something like that. But i mean if you still have love for her then just tell me the truth and i can pack my stuff and go." I didn't mean it but i knew he still loved her, i said "if you love her and want me to go i will go". He said "i do still have love for her... our breakup was a long time ago but she was my first love." I said "ok" he said "so that's all your gonna say is ok". I said "well what do you want me to say congratulations i mean if you love her whatever". Why are you being like this y/n he said, i said "i have a headache i'm taking a nap". I slept all of sunday and when i woke up i just sat there staring blank at the tv.
I felt ushijimas eyes on me but he knew it was better to just let me have my space, all night he sat on the opposite end of the couch and watched me as i stared at the tv all day. I didn't eat or anything i just sat there, thinking of all of our moments... did they mean anything to him? After sitting there all day i got up and just started puking my guts up, ushijima was holding my hair back. I told him to go away and that i could do it by myself and he left me there. I drunk some vitamin water and slept on the couch, he loved his ex part of me could only think that he could easily leave me for him. But that wasnt him though, i wanted nothing more than to go back in his arms but the thought was eating at me. I woke up the next morning and got dressed, we didn't speak at all. We walked to school in silence and when i put my headphones in they asked ushijima what was wrong.
He was telling the story and i said "this whole thing is bullshit" i walked away and went into the building. I did school and spoke to no one unless i had to which i barely did, practice went on and the girls saw i was mad so they didn't question it. Practice went on and i went home and took a shower, ushijima said "we need to talk about this". I said "talk about how you still love your ex and didn't have the decency to tell me about it. until i had to catch her all up on you at a party". He said "look y/n i'm sorry i don't know why your so upset about it because you know i love you ten times more". He was right and i said "what if you decide that one day you wanna be done with me and leave her for me, she's not done with you and you still have love for her". He sighed and said "come on your can't think", he saw the tears forming in my eyes and ran over to me.
He said "y/n m/n l/n i love you and you only, i have love IN MY HEART for her but i love you. and nothing is gonna make me fall out of love with you promise and i'm never leaving you for anyone or anything. I know i have times where i'm busy with volleyball but i would drop everything just for you." I know it was probably hard to see me with her like that but i promise it wasn't meant to hurt you she just really annoying. Our story is a little complicated but i'll tell you all about it if you forgive me." I said "i hate you so much right now but i also love you a lot", he said "i know you can't resist me". He kissed me and i was just so relieved part of me was just jealous i mean for god sakes that bitch was all over my boyfriend. Part of me still worried i mean it's not easy to fall out of love but jumping the next person isn't that hard.
We spent that whole night talking about our exes and just each other, jealousy came easy for the both of us. So we talked about some problem solving as well, part of it was a bit awkward but it needed to be said. We made brownies and ate them while we listened to some BTS, i loved bts and he did too. He wasn't a fan girl like me obviously but he still liked the music. It was about midnight when we went to bed, we slept in the bed and my God we slept on the couch so much i forgot how comfortable this bed was. I slept like a baby but then there was ushijima trying to hold on to me and cuddle all night. He only slept like a complete baby when he was laid up all next to me. He was such a baby at heart but ok the outside you would never know, well unless you were me. But that weekend was so dumb we had yet another fight over some bitch named liza, when i see her i'm gonna beat her ass.
~to be continued~
