new arrival

Birthday Morning Blues

What a day this has been. I have locked myself in my room and I'm determined to stay here. I was expecting mum to come and try and coax me to come out and sort this situation out but she hasn't. Nobody has come near me to ask how I am or to apologise or to even give me a chance to explain what happened its been nothing but silence.

I know there giving me space but space isn't what I need. I need a apology I need dad to show remorse to even make a attempt to make this better. I knew my dad had a temper and I was expecting it but the fact he hit me shocked and scared me. He has never purposely hit me before and he must have reached a new level of hatred for me to be able to slap me like that.

Me and dad have always had a turbulent relationship. We are like two best friends. We laugh together and we chill out together and we always talk to each other about everything he is the person I'm closest to. We also have the same lennon temperament we won't back down and we always feel that we are right in every situation the big difference is I'm sensitive just like my mum.

My insecurities could eat me alive. I never feel I'm good enough for my parents. My parents are crazy talented They are both beautiful and so determined and are just the coolest people. I wish that I inherited those traits.

I lay down and tried to fall asleep but tomorrow was my birthday and I could not be any less excited.

Tomorrow was meant to be a small family party as I don't have any friends to invite but I suppose it is all going to be cancelled as no one seems to trust me and always assume the worst.

I woke up with a terrible headache I have a black eye from when my face hit the wall and the pain is horrible. I just want to stay in bed and not deal with the day. I dragged myself out of bed an into the bathroom and when I looked in the mirror I could of cried. I had a bruise on my eye and I was really pale and I just looked so ugly.

I jumped into the shower and enjoyed the feeling of the hot water.

Once I finished my shower I put my pyjamas back on.

So I'm finally 14 and it feels horrible.

I hear a knock on my door and I just ignore it as I just want to spend my birthday alone.

"India come on open the door"

I was surprised to hear Hollies voice as she never comes near my room.

"ugh OK I'm coming."

I jump up and open the door to see hollie.

Hollie always looks so pretty. She was the perfect mixture of John and Cyn. She was beautiful and sweet like mum but had a bite to her where she can defend herself and she doesn't take anyone being unkind to her. She is insanely popular in school and she hasn't been jaded by life unlike me.

"India your face. You look awful."

"well we can thank dad for this"

"yeah I heard about what went down yesterday. I did tell them that you didn't take any drugs and they believe you now."

"the fact that they only believe me because you told them is the main problem. They always think the worst when it comes to me. They also know I'm innocent and haven't came near me to apologise"

"come on quit all that self pitying dad adores you way more than me everyone can see that. Your his special princess."

"come on that might have been true years ago but not now. it's all different and the fact he hit me just cements the fact he doesn't care about me anymore."

"look, get up and get dressed and let's get to celebrating your ageing."

"are you serious? I'm not going down there and celebrating anything with them."

"come on our uncles are here and we're all just waiting for the star of the show."

"the show can go on without me. And uncle Paul didn't even believe me either so I'm not going to celebrate anything with them."

"look your gonna have to face them. Someday and it might as well be today. We will face them together."

"ugh fine."

I decided that I'm not going to wear the birthday dress my mother had brought me last week. I'm just going to wear jeans and a t shirt. I brushed my hair and it now reached my waist so i decided to wear it down. I was going to wear abit of make up that mum had brought me as I'm now 14 I'm allowed to wear a little bit but I'm not going to wear it. I want everyone to see my black eye and I want John to see what he did.

"you ready to rock and roll?."

"I'm as ready as I'll ever be."