new arrival

why do I get all this attention

India's point of view

Things just are not the same between me and my dad im growing up and he hates it because he cant control me no more im now 14  he wants to keep me a little girl forever but I want to be a grown up like mum and I want to be like all of my other friends and shop  and date and have sleepovers but I cant as I am never allowed now that im older everyone seems more intrested in me.

now that I am a lot older the fact that my last name is lennon holds a lot more restrictions for me things my friends can do so easy I cant as I have people with cameras following me and taking my picture and trying to get me to answer there endless questions following me and its also dads fans I know the love and respect my dad and I love that but I don't understand why they go crazy when they see me I haven't done anything to deserve all the attention and to be honest I don't want it. I have never been one to want a lot of strangers attention and when they take my picture it unnerves me and I know I cant tell them not to because then I will be seen as a spoilt child and ill be hated but it makes me uncomfortable and it is worse when the press take my picture then the next day its in the newspaper sometimes they say lennons girl is just like her dad sometimes there mean and they say I'm ugly and that hurts.

The fact they compare me to my dad so much worries me because my dad is a genius he has achieved so much and done so much and he has talent coming out of his pores what if people are expecting that from me I'm not even that great of a singer and I cant play a instrument what if the world sees me as the younger lennon what if there expecting great things from me jeez I'm still in school and I'm struggling with that.

School is hard people see the fanfare that surrounds me and I attract two types of people the people who want to be seen with me because they will make it in the papers and they will be seen as important and the second type is the bullies the people who think they need to  bring me back down to earth because they think that I'm some spoilt brat which I'm not. yes I live in a big house and I want for nothing and that I have the 4 most loved men in Britain around my dinner table most nights but I don't take any of that for granted my life has shown me so far that things can change in a heartbeat I have seen and experienced things in my life that people would never understand and I value things so much more I don't expect anything I don't ask for much I'm not a typical spoilt celebrity kid.

I finish putting my long brown hair into a ponytail and I brushed my fringe over to the side and I took a long look in the mirror and I stared looking at my reflection and I thought damn I really do look just like my dad. Hollie looked more like mum she had light brown hair and her nose was just like mum and she behavd like my mum she acts like a old woman even though she is 8.

I walk down the stairs and throw myself onto the sofa beside my dad

" well hows you this morning princess" dad asked pulling my pony tail

" I'm ok I'm noticing that I'm looking like you more each day I swear its creeping me out"

John chuckled and pinched his daughters nose

"well aren't you glad to look like me as I'm a handsome devil" he said making India roll her eyes

" I just get worried"

" why?"

" what if because I look like you people expect me to be as amazing as you and I just wont ever be able to live up to you to what you have become and achieved its to much of a stress for me"

" india sweetheart just you focus on being yourself because you surpass me by miles so never worry about that john lennon is already taken so just be india"

" I know but you see in the papers most day baby beatle just like her dad or india lennon will she follow in her dads huge footsteps. it just feels like the worlds eyes are on me and everyone has there expectations of me and I don't want to disappoint anyone. its just hard having all this stress on top of school stuff and I'm trying to work out who I can trust and who I cant as I learned a painful lesson with aaron as that ass just wanted to be seen with a lennon he wanted you not me which I find is happening a lot.  being a teen is hard enough without all of this on top"

" I wish I knew what to do to help but this is a learning stage for you things now are beginning to become more focused on you because of me and I'm sorry for that if I could take all the attention away from you I would. I don't want press following you and I really don't want people comparing you to me because while they are doing that they are missing how incredibly amazing you are as your own person that even at 14 you are so much wiser than I was at that age I wish people would see you as india and not just as my daughter and I'm sorry your going threw all this because me band became famous"

"daddy don't say sorry for what you have achieved I am so proud of you what you and my uncles have done is beyond belief and I'm so proud of you and I'm proud of my last name. what I mean is the attention needs to be on you not me I have done nothing to credit me having it I have not earned it as you have"

" india princess there are times that I don't want the attention. being screamed at constantly by strange women having people you don't know treat you like they have known you for years just because they listen to your music and have my face pinned to there wall. then there is the dark side the lies people make up and that everyone belives then the times I get misquoted and I have a squad of christains wanting to pin me to a cross and it is stressfull and I'm sorry your experiencing a part of it but it is something you will have to learnt to live with. just take everything with a pinch of salt and don't take everything to heart see the reporters and the newspapers and the fans as a show you have the goodies and the baddies and the audience that screams and yells and watch the proceedings with intrest remember its all a pantomime."

" thank you daddy I needed to let all that out I love you daddy"

" I'm always here for you princess and I love you most"

FINALLY AN UPDATE WHOOP WHOOP

SORRY IT IS SO SHORT BUT IT IS THE BEST THAT I CAN DO AT THE MOMENT

MY DEPRESSION IS KICKING MY ASS AT TIMES AND MY THOUGHTS ARE SCATTERED SO FOCUSING LONG ENOUGH TO WRITE A CHAPTER IS HARDER THAN IT USED TO BE BUT I MADE MYSELF WRITE SOMETHING AS I FELT BD THAT I HAVENT UPDATED IN A CRAZY LONG TIME SO IM SORRY ABOUT THAT..