new arrival

i have had enough

"India come on love. Open the door please"

John has been knocking on the bathroom door for so long trying to get India to open the door. She wasn't even talking to him.

" If you don't open this door I'm going to kick it open. So choose wisely"

John waited a few minutes in silence

" right stand away from the door NOW" John shouted feeling annoyed that he found out his daughter is being bullied and she wont even open the door to talk to him about it.

John kicked the door and it flew open and when he entered the room he was confused to see that it was empty

" where is she?" he said aloud 

He was getting ready to leave when he looked down and saw the floor and the sink splattered with blood and a knife just laying on the ground. He grew so scared as he knew India was sensitive and she takes things to heart and she cares deeply.

" Cynthia come here quick"

" what's wrong John? Mimi is driving me mad apparently the way i cook is not up to her standards" Cynthia complained  as she made her way to where John was.

Cynthia walked into in the bathroom to see John standing there his face pale and etched with worry. Cynthia remembers seeing that look before. He had the same expression when his best mate from art college Stuart died. 

Cynthia took her eyes of John and looked around and she noticed the knife and the splatters of blood everywhere

" oh my god John what have you done? are you ok?" she shouted

" I'm fine the blood isn't mine"

Cynthia looked so confused and John could almost see her brain working hard to try and understand the situation they were in

" then who's blood is it? who's hurt John?"

" it must be India as she ran straight into here and the door was locked and i kicked it open to find this scene but with no India"

" where the hell is she John? she must be out somewhere hurt and bleeding and scared" 

Cynthia was frantic the not knowing where India was is to much for her to bare

INDIAS POV

" India we are going to have to phone your dad he is bound to be so worried about you" George said pacing around the living room wondering how his night had turned into a nightmare

He found out that his wife was sleeping with his friend Eric Clapton then India comes to his house upset and hurt 

" not yet George please i need time to think about what i done before i try and explain it to my parents.  There gonna be so upset with me as usual"

" why did you do it?. You know that hurting yourself like that is dangerous and i don't understand it"

" i don't understand it either I'm 14 and i feel like my life has been made up of one horrible situation to the next one. I have had to deal with bad stuff happening things that adults struggle to cope  with and i am somehow just meant to deal with it and move on with no help. I am forever feeling like i am not good enough. I'm not a good enough daughter. I'm for sure not a good enough big sister, I'm not a good enough niece to you and Paul and Ringo and I'm not a good enough student. I always feel like I'm failing in this life. I'm not a good enough Lennon. You's and my dad have created and done something so special. Yous have created a band that is loved and have toured and created music that will live forever. I have the eyes of the press looking at me expecting great things from me because of my last name and how am i meant to compete with that?. i don't want to compete. i just want to try and be me and figure out who i am and its so hard. I feel so lost George like i don't know who i am or who I'm meant to be. I know I'm India the girl who is jealous, who throws tantrums that could clear a stadium. I know I'm hard work, the girl who gets bullied constantly. I know I'm loved  but i just don't feel it. When i cut myself it was because i felt something that i hadn't felt in such a long time. I felt like i would be better of dead away from all these feelings and if i was gone i would be away from hurting my dad anymore."

India unleashed all of her held in emotions to George and she didn't feel any better for it. she just sat with her head down feeling lost in her lonely world. 

" look at me India" George asked putting his hand under her chin gently forcing her to look at him

" you would be missed by everybody especially your dad and your mum and even Holly. You bring so much joy to everyone who is blessed to know you. Yeah you throw tantrums and yeah you for sure have Johns temper and you do get jealous but those things make you who you are. You are also so kind and thoughtful, caring, loving, funny, beautiful, sweet and crazy and so much more. You care so much about the people you love that sometimes it gets to much and you try so hard to not annoy anyone that you don't express how you are feeling so you sometimes just erupt and do something silly like you did tonight and that is dangerous."

" i know it is i just feel like I'm always the one getting the bad end of the deal. Holly has grew up having a normal non drama filled life. Like when Brian died and dad went of the rails Holly does not even know about that as she is to young. Then when dad got with Yoko and abandoned me he stayed in contact with Holly and even brought her to meet the family in Liverpool something i have not done. It seems that Holly gets protected from all the bad situations and i get to be the one who has to go threw it all. Why cant they protect me? why am i always the one to get hurt while Holly aint had to witness a single heartbreak. When i try to explain this to mum an dad its just be being the jealous big sister who wants attention. I don't want attention threw this i just want to feel safe and protected the same way Holly does."

" I'm only 14 and i have already had enough of this life"