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We started singing Embarrassed. We finished and sat down.
"Let's play a game." MC said.
"High pitched game." He said. Tae and Yoongi went up since they had the deeper voices.
"You got this Yoongles." I said. They started and me and Hobi laughed.
"Yoongles what was that?" I laughed hard.
"Yah don't laugh at me." He said coming to me.
"Ani ani mianhae." I said.
"Let's do the low pitched now." MC said. Me and Jimin got called up.
"Tala can have a pretty deep voice." Jungkook said.
"Let's get it." I said. We started. I got pretty deep.
"Woah!" The crowd said. I winked at the camera. I sat down. We then got ready to do a cute dance.
We finished then went back to get changed. I went into a small section that was blocked off in the room for me. I got changed for me, Yoongi, and Jimin.
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They touched up on my makeup. We went up.
I growled my parts. We finished and went down and got changed.
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I wasn't feeling well but I pushed through. I was in pain from cramps. I looked in the mirror while they touched up my makeup. I looked a little chubby. They finished. I sighed. We went up and they gave us segways. We drove around while singing. We stopped and put them away after a while to dance. I hid behind a fake smile for the whole day. We got changed after our songs.
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We soon walked to the end. We stood and I took out my ear piece. The background music stopped and I heard just ARMYs singing. My eyes watered and I closed them as I listened with my mic aimed at them. I opened them and I felt a few drops fall. It stopped.
"That was beautiful." Hobi said. I got my towel out of my back pocket and grabbed my eyes.
"I was touched." Yoongi said. I stayed quiet listening to the boys. We talked more after the last 2 songs. Some of the boys went first except for the maknaes. They wanted me to be next. I teared up.
Trigger warning- mental health talk and suicide
"I um had a rough childhood when I was younger. I was quite a troublemaker but I didn't mean to. I was just a child following her dreams and.." I paused.
"I want to tell you some things because you guys our like family. I was never loved by my mom and hope that soon she'll support me and love me. Before becoming a training around when I was 11, a 6th grade me was bullied to the point I got depression and anxiety." I took my hat off and turned it around.
"This is new for everyone including my members but I before becoming a trainee, I used to cut myself." I said.
"Nooo!!" The crowd said. I was crying.
"I always blamed myself when I got yelled at or bullied. I even attempted to um kill myself. My dad helped me and brought me to a doctor to save me. He motivated me and I put up a wall and hid everything. I have been 5 years years clean of cutting and haven't done anything to leave." I said. I choked out a sob.
"I understand those who have mental health problem. I was in your place. I still am in your place. It's difficult. To stay strong. To not cry. To not cut. It's difficult. But I want to help those. I want to be that comfort idol who you can go to when you upset or feeling all emotions. I want to be the one who can save people from hurt themselves." I paused.
"Suicide may seem like an easy way out to stop the temporary pain but in the end it's permanent on you and the other who support and love you. Suicide happens a lot. Most people think of there is no reason that you have to do that. Oh you're just taking the easy way. But there is always a reason that someone wants to end themselves. Mine was my mom and bullies. Bullies go through pain so they use that pain to put on others and make them feel that pain because they do. I became a survivor. Thank you." I bowed while crying. The boys hugged me. Taehyung went after wiping his tears.
"First of all I'm really happy to be here with all the Army bombs and armys together. We won't forget the day we got to perform here. Thank you and also today I wanted to talk about something personal. If I don't do it now, I don't think I'll ever do it. Recently I got a lot of fans asking me why I looked so down. Back then I wanted to tell you what I'm going to say now. I just couldn't get the words out. That's why I'm here to tell you now. My grandmother passed away recently on September 3rd. I heard about the news when I was in the Philippines. She raised me for 14 years and was like a parent to me, she was someone I could talk to about my hardships, wants, and who I whined to. My grandmother was a very precious person to others too and they couldn't believe she passed away either. We got our first win on Music Bank on my grandmother's 49th day after she passed. My grandmother wanted to see me on TV and it was my wish that I mentioned her on TV to tell her how much I love her. But the timing didn't work out. That was a Pity but my grandmother who is precious to me told me that she loved the fans a lot. It's all thanks to you guys that we are here to receive more attention. My grandmother... I think she is supporting me up in the sky. I'll believe so and work harder. Our dear armys please keep my grandmother in your thoughts. Thank you." Tae cried as Jimin hugged him.
