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Dialogue at a Park

Present Day, two people are sitting on a park bench on a beautiful day, feeding animals some bread and seeds.

Person 2 (attempting to call over a duck) - "Come here...come here. Come over here fella." (Turns to friend) - "They never listen to me. It's as if they don't understand me."

Person 1 - "They don't...Those ducks don't speak English nor Hebrew, they speak Latin."

Person 2 - "No wonder they don't understand me."

Person 1 - "You should know Latin, we took lessons together...Or do you not know Latin because you weren't paying attention in class?"

Person 2 - "I slept nearly every day during those lessons, you know that!"

Person 1 - "I don't know that, because unlike you, I was thoroughly engaged with the material."

Person 2 - "I don't care about learning Latin, I care about love."

Person 1 (throws head back and lets out a deep exasperated sigh) - "Here we go again."

Person 2 - "What? Is it too much for me to desire someone who evokes the soul out of me?"

Person 1 - "Yes! Absolutely!"

Person 2 - "Oh...Well, no wonder I haven't found that special someone yet."

Person 1 - "There will not be that special someone...ever."

Person 2 - "Why are you so jaded?"

Person 1 - "I'm not jaded, I am just a realist. You are not trying to love a real person, you are in love with your ideal, you are in love with the fantasy of being in love."

Person 2 - "Come again for big fudge?"

Person 1 - "You love the idea of falling in love, and you have created this special someone who is not a real woman, she is an ideal."

Person 2 - "I am not attracted to ideals, I am only attracted to women."

Person 1 - "No, the ideal is a false image that you create in your mind, i.e., your perceived impression of the perfect woman. You project this ideal onto a woman, and then when the woman, whomever it might be, inevitably shatters your ideal, because she is a human being, you believe that this person is not the right person, and then you continue your unattainable search for that perfect someone."

Person 2 - "I am a romantic, I'm not apologizing for it."

Person 1 - "You don't have to. I am just warning you that you will never find that romance you are searching for. You will just continue dating women for a month or two because when her actual humanity begins to shatter your ideal, and the idyllic romance ceases because of it, you will breakup with them, stating that they are not your someone, that they are not your soulmate. Also, it is quite ridiculous that you expect a woman to be this divinely perfect creature when you yourself are a flawed human being, who possesses many annoying mannerisms, such as swallowing beverages way too loudly."

Person 2 - "That's because I hold up a microphone close to my mouth anytime I prepare to swallow."

Person 1 - "Why in the world would you do such a ridiculous thing?"

Person 2 - "I am inventing new sounds, I am an artist."

Person 1 - "Art is dead."

Person 2 (greatly offended and horrified by the statement) - "Art is not dead. If you think art is dead, then you sir, are dead inside."

Person 1 - "I just went to the doctor and my organs are functioning properly."

Person 2 - "I mean your soul is dead."