The Greatest Myths, Legends, Fables, Fairy Tales, & Short Stories Ever Told.

The Space Alien

There once lived a space alien. He was a friendly alien. He flew from planet to planet, from star to star, from galaxy to galaxy. He ate sandwiches, he liked turkey and cheese sandwiches, with a little mayo.

He said it made him feel like a real earthling.

Then one day a diet craze appeared that labeled bread as poison, the diet declared that one should not eat bread, for bread was poison, and would inevitably kill you.

Galactic officials flew around from planet to planet, from star to star, from galaxy to galaxy exclaiming, "Do not eat bread! I repeat! Do not eat bread! Parents if you feed your child bread you are not only murderers but you are going to be harshly judged and considered the worst parents in your galaxy!"

The alarms went off! A galactic service announcement was broadcasted in all the galaxies stating, "DO NOT EAT BREAD!!! I REPEAT, DO NOT EAT BREAD!....Or any non-complex carbohydrate, period! If you do so, you might as well book your funeral service now."

The space alien horrified said, "Waaahhhhhh!!! What have I been doing? Why does something so bad have to taste so good."

He was caught in a dilemma. To eat the bread or to not eat the bread, that was the question.

He tossed and turned all night over the decision. He flipped a coin to try to decide on what to do but the coin miraculously vanished with every flip and he quickly ran out of change. He then turned to his magic 8 ball but his magic 8 ball kept showing him the words, "The choice is yours." The alien then asked Alexa what he should do but Alexa just kept turning on his lights and playing Norah Jones.

He finally was overtaken by his desire to eat bread and rushed into his kitchen and made himself a turkey and cheese sandwich with a little mayo. "Yum yum yum this is some delicious grub." The space alien said.

After his hunger dissipated the space alien was ashamed and horrified of his decision. "What in the galactic galaxy did I just do?" Said the space alien.

He knew that the end was impending, therefore he reached out to his loved ones and made amends with those relationships that needed amending.

He told them that he loved them and they told him that they loved him too but couldn't believe his stupidity in making such a terrible choice when he knew the dangers.

They told them they would miss them, and he promised them that he wouldn't haunt them when he was dead, not even for a joke since they were petrified of the idea of ghosts.

The next morning arrived, and something strange happened, he woke up and he was alive, nothing changed. He said, "This is odd, I guess eating bread isn't going to kill me?"

He then lived happily ever after eating his delicious turkey and cheese sandwiches with bread and a little mayo.

The End