There once lived a Parachute Man. He lived on Broadway Lane. The town folk called him Parachute Man because he had a parachute and he was a man.
He was said to be born from the local Chuck E. Cheese ticket redemption center. Redeemed for 10 tickets.
He loved to jump from staircases, ceiling fans, and balconies, but he would always collapse to his own doom because his parachute consistently failed or proved to be dysfunctional.
Somehow he did not ever get hurt. Some said it was a miracle, others said he was superhuman, doctors said his nerves did not work properly. Either way, the Parachute Man was fearless.
He began to jump off higher and higher buildings and skyscrapers. Finally he worked himself up to jump off Burj Khalifa, the tallest building in the world.
His wife said, "Honey don't do it! It is dangerous!"
His cat said, "Meow."
The Parachute Man said, "I have to do it for the people."
The following day he stood atop the Burj Khalifa. He took a deep breath and jumped, his parachute malfunctioned, per usual, and as he was falling, a gold-plated private jet unexpectedly hit the Parachute Man.
His parachute got sucked into the jet's engine, causing the jet to malfunction. The jet then crashed into the Burj Khalifa, destroying parts of the building.
The parachute man was still falling, now without a parachute, and he was reaching tremendous speeds, he declared, "I'm going fast!"
He fell safely inside a bounce house in the backyard of a children's birthday party.
He leaped to his feet and raised his arms to the sky and shouted, "Voila! The Parachute Man has done it once again!"
The child's dad was unimpressed as he asked, "Did you not read the sign!?" As he points to the sign.
The Parachute Man turned to look at the sign and it read, All Party Crashers Will Be Shot. He turned back to look at the man and saw the man pointing an assault rifle at him.
The man lit up the Parachute Man with a barrage of bullets.
The Parachute Man shouted, "Owwwwwwwiiiieee!" He could survive the 2,717 foot drop but could not survive the gun wounds, he died.
The End
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The Greatest Myths, Legends, Fables, Fairy Tales, & Short Stories Ever Told.
RandomA collection of ridiculous, comedic, short-stories, tales, legends, myths, fables, and fairy tales dealing with various themes, and genres. Highlighting the absurdities and the peculiarities of life. The stories range from satirical, fan-fiction, c...
