The Greatest Myths, Legends, Fables, Fairy Tales, & Short Stories Ever Told.

Romance Circa 2019

Man - Pandas don't like macaroni!? But what about PB & J's?! What about SPAGHETTI and MEATBALL!!!? GOOD GOLLY! WHAT ABOUT ICE CREAM!!!???

Woman - Oh! They like ice cream.

Man - Oh whew! Now I can sleep at night. I was tossing and turning all night over that question, and I shit you not, the answer to that question was actually not on Google! Can you believe it?

Woman - No, I don't believe it, that is complete and utter nonsense. Google has all the answers. What is next, ghosts are actually real? Someone ACTUALLY can't believe it's not butter? Ha! Rubbish! I should check you into a mental asylum. I will call right now to see if there are any openings?

Man - You may want to hold your horses, really though, your horses are running away.

(Horses are running away)

Woman - Oh thank you so much for the suggestion! My roommate absolutely adores those horses. She would have had a complete meltdown and possibly never forgave me if I let those horses run free and somehow they got hit by a semi-truck or an atom bomb dropped on them, or possibly they got bit by a mosquito carrying malaria or West Nile or another mosquito carrying disease, and they were plagued by that disease and inevitably died...But anyways, I will call the mental asylum right now for you good sir!

Man - Hold on Ma'am, are you sure you want to do that? I got two tickets to the game and if I am in a mental asylum I won't be able to take you with me.

Woman - When is the game? I will have them schedule your occupancy after the game.

Man - I am a multitude of things, but one thing I am not is that I am definitely not a fool! Ha! I cannot tell you when the game is, otherwise the plan of mine will prove to be utterly frivolous.

Woman - Do you actually have a plan?

Man - I always have a plan Stan.

Woman - Fuck you! My name isn't Stan! Are you planning on taking Stan to the game!? You know how much I love the Giants! How dare you! How--dare--you!... Or maybe you don't know how much I love the Giants since you don't even know my name. You know what, fuck you and fuck your tickets!

Man - (Aghast) How dare you!? The tickets didn't do anything to deserve your cruelty! Fudge you!

Woman - Okay, okay, you are right. I apologize tickets, you didn't deserve my anger, my anger was reserved for Bobby.

Man - Bobby?! Who on God's green earth is Bobby!? Bobby isn't my name! You don't even know me!

Woman - Wait what!? I don't know you either?

Man - We both don't know each other I guess.

Woman - But we've been friends on Facebook for years. Practically since Facebook first released itself to the general public.

Man - It seems that we are really not familiar with one another. It is just so darn peculiar because we liked each other's photos and statuses.

Woman - Yes, I can't comprehend it. I liked that picture of you that you took when you were at the Giants game, and you were holding a beer in one hand and a hot dog in the other. I also gave you a thumbs up when you posted the status, "Go Giants!" I felt like I knew you.

Man - Yeah and I felt like we were close friends because we both liked the San Francisco Giants Facebook page.

Woman - Yes and I assumed that you loved pandas because you posted that video of a baby one last week. Therefore, I thought I'd share the enlightening fact with you that they actually do NOT like macaroni.