Person says in a joyous flippancy as they walk into the doctor's office - "An apple a day keeps the doctor away." (takes a large bite out of the apple and you hear the satisfying crunch, and the person smiles like the cheshire cat)
Doctor offended - "Why would you want to keep me away?!"
Person - "Because the last time I saw you, you kept trying to touch my balls."
Doctor - "I was trying to check to see if you had testicular cancer."
Person - "Sure you were...what's next? You want to see if I have dick cancer?"
Doctor - "You came to my office for a physical!"
Person - "Yeah, and you were most definitely trying to get physical."
Doctor - "Get out of my office."
Person - "Can I take the apple with me?"
Doctor - "Get out!"
Person - "Wait...do you smell that?"
Doctor - "No, I can only smell what the Rock is cooking."
Person - "That is so 2000 and late."
Doctor - "Aren't you late to your dentist appointment?"
Person - "How do you know my schedule?"
Doctor - "You told me to hurry up because you had to race across the city during prime traffic hour in order to make it to your dentist appointment."
Person - "You pay more attention to me than my spouse."
Doctor - "Well, that is because you pay me."
Person - "I thought my insurance did!"
Doctor - "Well they do, but you pay for the insurance and pay a deductible."
Person - "I don't pay with ducks, I pay with card."
Doctor - "Are you always this annoying?"
Person - "Are you always this aggravated?"
Doctor - "Only around you, and when I am hungry."
Person - "It's pronounced hang-gree."
Doctor - "I'm not hangry now, so it must be you."
Person - "How can you speak to a client in this impossibly insolent manner?"
Doctor - "Easy, you don't have to go home, but you got to get the fuck outta here!"
Person - "Okay MTV cribs. Serious question, are you capable of making a time-relevant reference?"
Doctor - "Serious question, are you capable of leaving?"
Person - "I am waiting for my ride, and don't you dare say to be Pimp'd."
Doctor - "Please wait in the waiting room."
Person - "I prefer your office, it has a better view, and more comfortable seats."
Doctor - "I am going to call security."
Person - "And I am going to call Ghostbusters because your hospital has to be haunted. People die here all the time."
Doctor - "That's macabre, and just because someone dies in a place doesn't automatically mean it is haunted...With that logic, there would be ghostly hauntings all over."
Person - "There are ghostly hauntings all over, especially at this hospital. This hospital is more than 50 years old, there have had to be hundreds, if not thousands of deaths."
Doctor - "Well, I don't believe in ghosts."
Person - "But you believe in love?"
Doctor - "I believe it's not butter."
Person - "I too believe it is not butter. I am happy we can agree on something."
Doctor - "Me too...Well now that we made amends, may you leave?"
Person - "With wondrous delight."
(The person hops on an oversized dragonfly and flies out the window))
Person singing while riding the dragon fly - "There goes the dragonfly floating in the air, where does the sewer dry, somewhere downstairs. Berries and cream are a delight to me. Flying on this dragonfly I finally feel free. Yippee! Yippee! I shout with glee! Yippee! Yippee! This life's for me."
(The doctor pulls out a sniper rifle, takes aim, and shoots the person through the head. The person's head explodes into pieces and his body slowly tilts off the giant dragonfly before its descent)
Doctor - "There goes my headache."
The End
أنت تقرأ
The Greatest Myths, Legends, Fables, Fairy Tales, & Short Stories Ever Told.
عشوائيA collection of ridiculous, comedic, short-stories, tales, legends, myths, fables, and fairy tales dealing with various themes, and genres. Highlighting the absurdities and the peculiarities of life. The stories range from satirical, fan-fiction, c...
