The Greatest Myths, Legends, Fables, Fairy Tales, & Short Stories Ever Told.

The Shopping Mall

A girl is at a mall, it's crowded. She sees a man sitting on a bench about 20 feet away, staring at her. She immediately turns away, only to look back in about 5-7 seconds and she notices his gaze is still locked on her. She turns back around and re-enters the conversation being had by her friends.

Girl - "Hey, do you guys see that creepy guy staring at me?"

Friend 1 - "Oh yeah what the heck?"

Friend 2 - "I'd stare at you too girl." (they giggle)

Girl - "Thanks bitch, but seriously, is he still staring?!"

Friends - "Yeah! Directly at you!"

Girl - "Eew, gross! Girls, what should I do?"

Friend 1 - "Let's just walk over there and ask him what his deal is."

Friend 2 - "Why can't we just walk away?"

Girl - "Oh no, we aren't going to move just because he can't keep his fucking dick in his pants."

Friend 1 (with extreme amounts of sass) - "Mmmhmmm, you tell him girl." 

Girl  - "I do not come to the mall dressed in only my sports bra and yoga tights to be checked out like a piece of meat! I come for the sales, I come to see my friends, I come to spend my parents' money, and I come to eat a fucking Auntie Anne's pretzel!"

Friend 1 (with even more sass) - "Preach bitch!" 

Friend 2 - "Yeah! Let's get him!"

They stroll over quickly. Girl takes lead, and two friends stand slightly behind.

Girl (aggressive) - "Hey dude! What's your problem!?"

Guy (startled ) - "Oh hey! I'm sorry, but did I do something? (He is honestly confused and puzzled).

Girl - "You wouldn't stop staring at me!"

Friend 1 - "Yeah you creep!"

Friend 2 - "Got any last words focker!"

Guy - "Yeah I do, I'm blind asshole!" (Puts on thick black sunglasses, grabs his cane, and grabs his seeing-eye dog's leash).

Girl (blushes in embarrassment) - "Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry sir, I didn't realize!"

Guy - "You didn't see the cane?... Or the dog right next to me wearing a vest that says, service dog?"

Girl (ashamed) - "I guess I didn't notice?" 

Friend 1 - "Unbelievable." (Shakes her head with disapproval of the girl's actions, while her arms are crossed in displeasure).

Friend 2 - "You know Becca, you really are a bitch sometimes."

Friend 1 - "Yeah, fuck you Becca!"

A Random Stranger (stands up and waves their fist in the air) - "Yeah, fuck you Becca!"

Girl - "Friends! Blind guy!...And random stranger...I'm really, really, really, like sorry...I just didn't know."

Guy - "Well next time try not to assume the worst...Not all guys are creeps."

Girl (points to the guy sitting next to the blind guy) - "What about that guy, he's watching porn!"

Guy Watching Porn - "Hey! I watch this for research purposes. I'm a scientist!" (Puts on his lab coat and grabs his chemistry set and walks away annoyed).

Friend 1 - "A second time...Really Becca?"

Friend 2 - "Becca just go home. Hey Friend 1, want to go get an Auntie Anne's Pretzel?"

Friend 1 - "Girl you know I do" (They walk off, and after a few steps they turn around in unison to flip off Becca, and then turn back around walking with their arms around each other).

Girl/Becca (sad but then shrugs her shoulders and says to herself ) - "Well, since I'm already here...I might as well see if Victoria's Secret is having a sale."

The End