The Greatest Myths, Legends, Fables, Fairy Tales, & Short Stories Ever Told.

Argument in a Flat in London

Woman - "Honey, have you touched my knickers?"

Man - "Well of course not love, why would I do such a thing?"

Woman - "I seem to have misplaced them."

Man - "Shall I phone the knickers finding man?"

Woman - "Perhaps...Or do you think the dog can find them? Perhaps if I give him a scent of my pussy juice he will be capable of locating my lost knickers?"

Man - "That isn't the worst plan in the world."

Woman - "Come over here dog." (Woman sticks a straw up her vagina and allows pussy juice to leak from it and has it drip on a napkin).

(Dog runs over to the command of the woman and sits patiently).

Woman - "Here you go doggie. (placing the napkin to the nostrils of the dog) Now take a big whiff to really capture the essence of the smell and go find my knickers. Go! Mush!"

(Dog begins to lick the napkin voraciously and doesn't go search for the knickers.

Man - "Well he seems to really enjoy the taste."

Woman - "I'm glad someone does."

Man - "Hey! I am not in control of my tastebuds, if I could alter them to like certain tastes, I would."

Woman - "I just think you are too lazy to give me oral sex...I give you a blowjob even though your dick has an awful stench, because I love you and I am a gracious lover."

Man - "I love you too, and I promise it isn't because I am lazy, I ran for 5 minutes yesterday, I just honestly don't like the taste of your pussy juice...But hey! I got an idea?"

Woman - "What is it?"

Man - "I will squirt some Mio Flavor Enhancer inside your vagina and perhaps that will make the taste delectable. I believe we have strawberry kiwi flavor in the pantry."

Woman - "Hmm, well I guess it doesn't hurt to try."

Man (proud) - "Ha! And they said we needed counseling...Clearly we can come up with solutions ourselves."

Woman - "You are right, now if we can only come up with a solution to find my missing knickers."

Man - "I'll file a missing knickers report."

Woman - "Don't you dare!"

Man - "Why not? You want to find them don't you?"

Woman - "Yes, but I don't want the whole world to know, that is quite embarrassing wouldn't you say."

Man - "I guess you are right love." (Begins to itch his penis.)

Woman - "What's the matter?"

Man - "I have a wicked case of really itchy dick syndrome."

Woman - "What in the bloody hell is that?"

Man - "A cruel and wretched disease that causes your dick to itch incessantly."

Woman - "Sounds terrible."

Man - "It is! I wouldn't wish it upon my worst enemy. I think if I was given the choice between having ass cancer or really itchy dick syndrome, I'd easily choose ass cancer. I think most lads would agree with me."

Woman - "What seems to cause it?"

Man - "I don't think anyone knows. There isn't much research on it."

Woman - "I just did a Google search."

Man - "What does it say? Is it life-threatening? Oh no, please say it isn't. If it is, I want you to have my stamp collection. Give the dog my leftovers from Patty & Bun."