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The Frat Boy

There once was a frat boy and a sorority girl who met at a party. They got drunk and had sex in a bathroom at the annual Sigma Chi Toga Party. The sorority girl of Alpha Delta Pi got pregnant. She bore a son and named him Chad.

Both her and the frat boy refused to give up their fraternity and sorority lifestyle. They also refused to move out of their Fraternity and Sorority houses, so Chad grew up in the Frat House and the Sorority House.

When his first day of Kindergarten arrived, Chad wore a popped-collared polo shirt with short khaki shorts, Sperry boat shoes on his feet and sported some Ray Ban Wayfarer sunglasses. He walked into his classroom with one backpack strap on his shoulder and exclaimed, "What's up bitches? Name's Chad. Two questions I need answered ASAP, where are the sluts? And where is the booze?"

The teacher appalled by Chad's language said, "Chad! We do not use that language in this classroom. Also, take off your sunglasses."

Chad replies, "Alright, alright teach, take a chill pill. Here I think I got some Xanax in my lunch pail." Chad digs in his lunch pail and tosses the teacher a couple of Xanax pills. "So do I pop a squat anywhere or do we have a seating chart?"

The teacher directs Chad to his desk. Chad proceeds to sit and then puts his feet up on the desk and reaches into his backpack and grabs a beer. He then cracks open the beer and begins to drink it.

The teacher shocked, "Chad! We do not drink alcohol in this class!"

Chad shocked by the teacher's tone, "What? It's only beer...Fuck! I didn't know I just walked into North Korea. Where is my freedom? I thought I lived in kick-ass America"

At recess, Chad recruits students to join his frat by saying, "If you are interested in smacking tits, drinking booze, and having a good ass time with your bros, join my frat, Sigma Chi Chi Bro...bros."

After Chad gets his new recruits, he begins to say, "First things first, we need to lose the sleeves. Suns out guns out, know what I'm saying?!" High fives another student.

Chad looks for something in the class to cut off the sleeves but the classroom only has safety scissors which are unable to cut the fabric of the sleeves, Chad is pissed. He shouts, "Teacher! What the fuck bro? These safety scissors can't cut shit. How am I supposed to show off my gains with these sleeves?"

The teacher appalled "Chad! What did I say about language?"

Chad responds, "I am going to be completely honest with you teach, I was drunk earlier so I am not sure what you were saying." High fives a student.

The teacher irritated says, "Chad meet me after class."

Chad turns and whispers to a student, "First day of class and the teacher is already trying to bone me. Gnarly." High fives the student.

Class ends, and the teacher meets with Chad and says, "Chad I am going to call your parents for a parent teacher meeting, I am concerned with your inappropriate behavior."

Chad shocked, "Wait! What? I thought you wanted to meet me after class so that we could fuck? You gotta be shitting me! So my Pornhub fantasy isn't coming true? This is some bullshit."

The teacher shocked, "Chad! Absolutely not! I am calling your parents this instant!"

Chad rolls his eyes with his arms crossed and says, "Whhhaaaateveeerrr...."

At the parent teacher meeting, the teacher speaks, "Hi Chad's parents, I am really concerned with Chad's behavior. I never tell anyone how to raise their children but Chad is drinking alcohol, using inappropriate language, and will not stop making jokes about his genitals."

The frat boy responds, "Chad is just being Chad."

The sorority sister speaks next, "We apologize, but we encourage our child to be his best self. We encourage him to express his freedom and his creativity."

The teacher shows them a picture Chad drew, it is a picture of him as a stick figure having sex with the teacher.

The frat boy inspects the photo and says, "You got to admit, that little fucker is a pretty talented artist. He got his artistic ability from his mom."

The sorority sister says, "Aww thanks babe and yes we don't ever want Chad to feel any shame about sex. Sex is natural, he is just freely expressing his sexual creativity and freedom through his artwork."

The teacher struggling to get through to them says, "I understand, but may he just calm down on the language and not drink beer!"

The frat boy responds, "He was only drinking a Bud-Light, that is practically water! That isn't even real beer, take a chill pill. Hey babe hand the teach some Xanies."

The sorority sister digs in her purse and pulls out some Xanax pills and holds it out to the teacher.

The teacher agitated says, "You know what? Fuck it! Give me the pills."

The frat boy and sorority sister cheer! Then the sorority sister says, "OMG you know what will be like super fun? Is if we take tequila body shots! Whooo!"

The frat boy says, "That is a great idea! Gosh I fucking love you!"

They pour shots of cheap tequila on the belly button of the teacher as she lays on top of the desk, she holds a lime with her mouth and they proceed to do tequila shots off of her. 

The End