Fate Wheel | Naruto

𝟖𝟒| Anew

"For the two of us, home isn't a place. It is a person. And we are finally home."
— Stephanie Perkins

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DAWNS POV

On this day, seven years ago, I was only but a pile of flesh and bone, an empty vessel scuttling in lone, silent streets with teeth chattering and an irrevocable sense of grief consuming my mind and diminishing what little light of hope was left in the cruel, cold world.

It was this day, I began to survive life on a hourglass, each day the sand seeped to the bottom— and when it did, I contemplated the worth of safety and humanity. I've seen many things, many humans, many crimes, many habits, many despicable habits of survival, of bloodshed and violence, of malevolent vows of honour, of potent strive to slaughter and kill for the sake of protecting those you loved, of malicious intent to sacrifice emotion and stability for insanity and greed, to bathe in riches and gold, to turn against your own and search for the worth of living on your own accords and standards.

It was this day, I began to relive every single haunting moment of my life.

I began to relive her words as they repeated in my mind like a broken record. I began to relive Keiji's kind smile soon turning into a still image of his lifeless, dull eyes and blood leaking from the corner of his mouth as his body laid limp on the cold, fictile ground. I began to regret my decisions, the actions I didn't commit, the words I didn't say, the 'what if's', the self hatred that spawned in my heart like a parasite and poisoned my body with an addicting urge to punish myself for being the one who always escaped death— as if living itself was my curse and my memories the incentive that set my mind aflame.

It was also this day that I had become so accustomed to being alone that the darkness appeared to be friendly. After all, it always returned after the sun descended the earth and night began its reign. It was consistent and I was a desperate, street rat who craved the comfort of company and kindness, who desired to feel something other than the excruciating coldness of her being, who craved an escape from herself.

And it was this day, I had decided to end this curse of living and meet my end.

I had failed, clearly.

Because somehow, some way, I've managed to make it to the age of fourteen. Fourteen years spent living in this world and yet, it felt like a lifetime of tragedies until I had finally reached salvation.

It was worth it. Everything was worth suffering for. It was worth meeting the people I call friends, it was worth meeting a woman who I saw a mother in, it was worth being appointed on team seven and learning the importance of love from a silver-haired Jounin, it was worth stumbling upon a cake-crazed girl who I have the honour of calling my bestfriend, it was worth spending each and every day with an overprotective wolf who pulled me up every time I began to fall down and it was worth meeting a reserved, book loving boy who had the ability to merely glance at me and I'd feel whole again.

It was worth falling hopelessly in love without fearing the consequences.

There may have been a version of me that existed in the past, but I've learned to move forward and seek the future whatever it may contain. I didn't fear what fate had in store for me, because so long I had everyone by my side— I had nothing to fear. Not anymore. Not when I've started to desire more from life than what I was shown. Not when a part of me was dissatisfied with the way things were and wanted to appeal for change. Not when I've started to dream for bigger things, bigger goals and a safer world where people like me no longer suffered from the greed of others. I couldn't rest, I shouldn't be comfortable, I couldn't afford to crave luxuries when she was still alive.