Fate Wheel | Naruto

52| Pretend

"I think sometimes when we find love we pretend it away, or ignore it, or tell ourselves we're imagining it. Because it is the most painful kind of hope there is."
— Rae Carson

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DAWNS POV

To say I was nervous, would be the biggest understatement of the century- or millennium.

Majority of the remaining Chunin Exam participants were dedicating their time to training, whereas I was home bound and recovering from the injuries I'd sustained. Luckily for me, I heal quickly, but the constant strain on my broken leg prolonged the set healing time and still hurt if I were to exert heavy weight onto it. The good part being was that I no longer had to walk on crutches, even if it has only been a day. What had confused me was that an injury like that would usually take longer.

Despite that mystery, that wasn't exactly why I was nervous. Today was the day that I was going to the duck-butt's house. The past me would've had a heart attack if I even glanced at Sasuke accidentally, as the thought of getting myself into unnecessary situations terrified me. In a way, I've grown braver, but it didn't make me any less of the coward I was now. Time was ticking and sooner or later, I would've overstayed my welcome in the Leaf. Even the thought of parting from my home created a tear in my heart, this was the second time I was abandoning the people I cared about.

But for what? How could I guarantee that I would become strong enough to face the enemy alone? How would I strategise my approach, or who's to say that I wouldn't break down from trauma at the sight of my torturer and the people who had murdered my family and Village. I was emotionally unstable, which had proven to be a very dangerous state to be in after the what had happened in the prelims.

"Relax, kid." Jiro said, his red eye watching me carefully as I finished drying off the dishes, placing the remaining plates in the cupboard- not that I had many to begin with.

I stared at him for a moment, allowing the sight of his large, fur-encased body, his eyepatch, the numerous scars and the protective aura he exerted to sink in before a small sigh escaped my lips. What would happen when I decided to leave? How would the others react? How... How would Jiro react to my request? My request in wanting him to live his life in Konoha. I saw the way his eye softened or when his body relaxed around my teammates. He trusted them, when he had trusted no other for many years. It wasn't my decision to make, but my selfishness and desire to keep him safe from my affairs didn't care whether or not he'd resent me for this.

I'd rather him hate me and be alive  than leave with me and allow me to be the reason for his death. He acted as if he hadn't endured what I'd went through as well, I pretended to not acknowledge how he wasn't really asleep but did so for my sanity. Who knows when I'd get tired of him constantly trying to protect me?

Who knows when he'd finally let me be the one to protect him?

"Hey!" Jiro snapped. I jumped, startled. I looked down at the cup I was gripping tightly, to the point my knuckles had turn white. I loosened my grip. "Are you really that nervous about going to the Uchiha brat's house?"

"No." I mumbled quietly, my cheeks warming in embarrassment as I looked away.

In a way, the hut felt more warmly and welcoming when the windows were open and there was actually someone inside to invite others in. I felt excited, ecstatic even, to change the place up with Hitomi some day. I had a feeling interior decor was her fort and I had some money saved as I wasn't really the spending type.