Fate Wheel | Naruto

49| Control

"I sat alone, in bed till the morning
I'm crying, "They're coming for me"
And I tried to hold these secrets inside me
My mind's like a deadly disease."
- Control, Halsey

───※ ·❆· ※───

DAWNS POV

This wasn't good. At all.

My all-too-clear vision was now weary with blotches of distortion and black dots. I presumed it was the blood-loss, or fatigue, or the adrenaline I had used up in my final attack. The tips of my fingers that had buzzed with the faint feeling of an electric current of power that had courses through my veins now left it fried and tingling with numbness, it laid limp by my side and calloused with dirt and cuts from the forest of death.

Barberry, Basil, Bellflower, Bindweed, Blackthorn—

A dreaded feeling built up inside of me as I felt a familiar stirring in the back of my mind, my prior paranoia rushed back in as though it had never left to begin with. I no longer felt reassured, in fact I was far from it, my skin was crawling with anxiety and regrets. I'd regretted denying Jiro's companionship, perhaps if we'd fought as a pair things would've turned out a little differently. It was a surprise that Yin knew more about me and it scared me not knowing the extent of her knowledge. Did she know who I truly was and the past of pain and blood I had emerged from? Was she aware of the weak, defenceless six year old girl who had been confined within dark walls and tortured till no end?

I was terrified. But I couldn't show it.

I couldn't allow the numerous eyes to watch me crumble to my self-ruination and cower at the sight of danger. I couldn't allow them to see past the facade I put up to hide the true coward I was. I couldn't allow them to see the truth. The truth being that I was truly terrified of the world, that I was still helplessly clinging onto the hope that one day I could live in a world where I was happy and not in fear of my life being threatened.

And here I was, standing in a large room surrounded by many eyes as I barely stood, broken and bruised and scathed. I was tired, so tired, that it didn't frighten me knowing that once I closed my eyes my mind would thrive at the opportunity of creating self-destruction and chaos. Chaos that was building up.

"What's the matter, prey?" Yin feigned concern, her lips tugging into a mocking frown. My eyes stilled, watching her carefully knowing that any moment she'd attack. "Oh, that's right! You're slipping, aren't you? You can feel yourself slowly caving into the darkness, wanting it to selfishly consume you."

Borage, Bramble, Bryony, Buck-Bean, Bugloss, Burdock—

Hatred brewed within me, knowing that her words spoke the truth. She could read me easily, latched onto a second of weakness and elongated that moment making it feel like eternity. It felt like hours that I had been fighting her, I desperately wanted for this match to be over. However much I wanted to raise my hand and admit defeat, I couldn't help but feel I'd disappoint those who had faith in me. Stubbornness were the established building-blocks of my nature, defeat wasn't an option. Or maybe it wasn't in my nature, but my blood.

"Y-You're delusional." I scoffed, mentally cursing myself for allowing my voice to waver.

A smile stretched out on her face. "No, I think that's you."

She struck again. This time, it was hand-to-hand combat. Usually I would've brightened at the opportunity of kicking her ass, knowing that Taijutsu was my fort and that I was better than most (not to sound cocky), but this time I felt sluggish, slow, unable to block all the punches and kicks she sent my way. My vision was blurred with unshed tears and an indistinct weariness, I barricaded her punch with my forearm and grabbed her wrist, bending it towards her direction as my unoccupied hand sent a jab into her stomach.