If You Were Ours

Chapter Fifty Two - Tyson

Tyson ~

I was on my knees begging for Kinsley's forgiveness that I knew I didn't deserve. I had allowed my fear to override my common sense and I broke her trust by doing the one thing I had promised her I'd never do - force her to do something against her will.

I knew the second we drove away at the airport that we had made a huge mistake, but I was too stubborn and arrogant to admit it.

Not only had I made the wrong call, but I manipulated Dane into agreeing with me. I used his sisters death to coerce him and it worked, up until he saw what our absence had done to our girl. He watched that damn camera all day and night, but I couldn't bring myself to look, I felt too guilty and thought if I'd give her enough time she'd hate us enough to move on, but that thought only devastated me further. We were torturing ourselves and torturing her, but I thought it was better than having to bury her, so I held my ground. 

As soon as Dane made the decision to leave and go get our girl, I knew it was the right call and every part of me wanted to go with him and throw myself at her feet, but I couldn't. I couldn't let her come home to the same dangers that we were trying to save her from.

Without Dane or Kinsley to stop me I went on a rampage, hunting down Angelo and killing him along with every member of his inner circle, sending pieces of their bodies to their followers as a warning that the families of the L.A. Mafia are not to be fucked with.

One by one I made them pay for what they had done - for the fear they had instilled in my family. Leo and Lucas were loyal to the bone and helped me hunt and kill everyone of Angelo's followers until his entire attempted empire had crumbled around him, saving him for last. My soul felt satisfied as I took Angelo's life and cut him into pieces. And as fucked up as it sounds, that final act of violence was my declaration of love to Kinsley and my admission of guilt for sending her away.

I felt justified in every one of my actions as I traveled to New York and had convinced myself that I should be exonerated by Dane and Kinsley, until I saw Kinsley walk through the door. She was thin...too thin with dark circles under her eyes and an uncoordinated gait, like she was a few calories away from collapsing. Her bright smile was no where to be found and her body language and posture was almost unrecognizable. 

I did that...

Dane had tried to tell me and often tried to show how badly Kinsley was struggling, physically and emotionally on the camera feed, but I refused to look. I refused to face what I'd done. But this? I couldn't hide from this. I couldn't deny this. It was raw and in my face. Evidence that I had hurt Kinsley and I needed to take responsibility for my fuck up. 

Once she locked eyes with me, I saw nothing but anger and pain and it absolutely gutted me, because I knew I had earned her hatred.

I didn't deserve her forgiveness and I understood why she couldn't give it to me, even when I begged for it on my knees. I had never willingly dropped to my knees and begged for anything from anyone, but there I was, groveling at her feet, submitting to her completely. 

She could have pushed me away or taken a step back to avoid contact with my skin. She could have punished me by hurting me with her words or forcing me to leave, but she didn't. Sweet Kinsley ran her fingers through my hair and embraced me, blessing me with mercy I didn't deserve, which almost made it worse. I wanted her to yell at me and slap me - to get all of her anger out all at once so I felt like I had paid for my crimes, but that wasn't Kinsley. 

We sat on the couch and discussed where to go from here. The bottom line was - we had betrayed her and broken her trust. Shit like that takes time to heal, but Dane and I were prepared to do whatever it took to fix what we had broken.