you'll find me here forever ➳ kol mikaelson [ the vampire diaries ]

☆ 4.16 ~ i don't want to be

i'm tired of looking 'round rooms
wondering what i've got to do
or who i'm supposed to be
i don't want to be anything other than me
~ gavin degraw, i don't want to be

Lydia leaned against the leather seat, peering out of the window and being greeted by the large clouds that were surrounded by the blue sky. She typically hated flying. Yes, it was because she was afraid of heights, but as of now, she was more afraid of what was awaiting her on the ground. Lydia did indeed decide to meet her birth mother, but she didn't contact her since she wasn't sure what to say over the phone. She thought in person would work better. So she took the Mikaelson's private plane to Los Angeles where her mother lived.

"Okay, this plane is awesome," Rae exclaimed enthusiastically as she threw herself down onto the chair in front of Lydia, causing her to laugh a bit with her friend."I'm so glad my mom took a couple of days off for the holidays so that I could come."

"So am I," Lydia smiled slightly. She was glad to have Rae be able to join her since she had a few days to herself and decided to spend them going with Lydia to find her birth mother. That meant that Lydia didn't have to go alone and sit there worrying over what she might find."Now we have a few hours to catch up and talk about everything including why you shot down Rebekah."

"I was waiting for you to bring that up," Rae sighed, leaning back into the chair. Rae knew that Lydia was in a somewhat awkward position. Lydia and Rae were best friends, but Lydia was also best friends with Rebekah and roommates with her. Lydia wanted to be supportive of both of them, but that could be a contradiction given the circumstance."Come on, Lydia. You yourself don't even like coming to my house because you're afraid you'll lose control, so how can I not worry about something happening to them if I bring Rebekah into my life fully."

"Because I'm a newbie vampire," Lydia reminded her."Rebekah is like a thousand years old. She's got a handle and yes, being around the Mikaelsons can be dangerous in theory, but there is no greater protection that you can get than being welcomed into their family."

"Maybe I don't want to be welcomed into their family," Rae responded quietly. She didn't want to offend Lydia. She knew that Lydia loved the Mikaelsons and saw being welcomed into their family as one of the best things that ever happened to her, but that wasn't what Rae wanted or needed. Lydia didn't seem to be offended."Elijah and Rebekah are great, Kol pretty much destroyed any chance of me liking him and I don't really know Klaus."

"Then maybe talk to Rebekah," Lydia suggested kindly."You know that I had more than my fair share of insecurities about being with Kol and the only way I got through some of them was by talking to him. And leaving him quite a few times. Yeah. Maybe don't use me as an example."

"I don't think that's going to work," Rae admitted with a small shrug of her shoulder."My issue isn't something Rebekah can solve."

"Oh?" Lydia raised a curious eyebrow.