Random Imagines

122 - Kim Seokjin ( BTS )

It's the same routine every time, he's there when I go to sleep but he's not there when I wake up. I mean, it does make sense, it's not like him and I are in a relationship. I mean we're in something, but that in itself is something very complicated, that I don't think him and I even realize. 

It all started from that night, that single night. Him coming into my room, that's when it all started behind the two of us. 

I picked up my head being greeted by Jin. I guess he could tell that I was stressed at dinner. " Song? " That was the only thing he asked, and I simply nodded. He closed the door, and walked towards me. 

" I just, I just want this to be perfect. And I can't even come up with anything Jin. It's just so overly annoying trying to figure out everything... " I placed my head in my hands, wanting to cry. He grabbed a hold of my hands, and made me look at him. 

" Y/n, it doesn't have to be perfect. It's not due tomorrow, just breathe... okay. It will be great, everything you write is great. " I looked at him with sadden eyes, which only caused him to grab a hold of me and pulled me into a hug. 

After pulling away that made this hug different than the past ones. Jin held me in that position. I rested my hands on his shoulders. Neither of us moved, it was like we were stuck in time. " If I did something irrational at this moment, what would you do? " My breath hitched in that moment, irrational as in if he kissed me. 

" I'd let you... " that was the hushed whisper that came out. And just like that, he pulled me towards him and quickly kissed me. 

That's how it started between the two of us, a kiss changed our whole dynamic as friends, and it made us to have this situation-ship between the two of us. Never would I have thought Jin would have been the on who did this. But here we are several months later, and we're still doing this. Him and I are still something that is confusing, and I've always been confused. 

I hear the door open, and turn to be greeted by Jin. " The boys should be up soon, just thought I should give you a heads up before six other men come running into your apartment. " He tells me, which causes me to chuckle towards him. 

He grabs a hold of me pulling me closer to him, and quickly kisses me. Catching me off guard, but I quickly accepted and kissed him back. It became more intense between the two of us. Him pushing me against the table, and I immediately intertwine my hands into his hair. 

The door swung open, and I pushed him away trying to fix my hair ever so slightly in the process. " There's my favorite person in the world! " All the boys and I just started talking and everything in between. As I said before Jin and I have always had a different relationship, a different... confusing relationship. 

There's always secret looks between the two of us, secret touches, and everything that can happen between the two of us. I want something more, I have been for months now. But I can't tell my true feelings towards him. That would only leave the two of us broken and one of us heart broken. 

The only person that knows I'm losing my mind is Jimin. He's someone who I have somewhat talked too, but not fully saying it about who exactly it is. He just knows that, because I asked him for help when I was writing one of my songs that is based off of Jin. 

I want to be more, I carve to be more with him. But I'm stuck in an awkward situation with him, and not sure what exactly will happen between the two of us. " How's the EP? " I nodded towards him, I was trying to keep it quiet of me making it. 

" It's been going, I'm almost done with the last song. And then it will be officially done. " I tell him, which causes him to smile towards me. He's overly joyed about my new EP. All of the boys are, I haven't come out with anything in about two years. 

This song will be the surprising one, because I haven't really produced a breakup song. I know this will be the shocker of it all, and I'm kinda really excited for it. I'm ready for people to be able to hear it, and I know a lot of people will relate to it. 

It was when I released it that everything changed, that's when everything hit at once. Not for me, but for the fans. The fans went crazy trying to figure out what his secret guy was. And I was heavily avoiding Jin. I knew the minute he heard those songs was the minute he knew it was about him and the minute he knew it was about him. 

It's been nearly three weeks since I released my EP, and it's been nearly three weeks of avoiding Jin. I think a part of me also doesn't want to ruin what we have, and it being in secret has been nice and exciting. But when you're struggling, when you're craving for it to be more. That secret is the most painful thing that will happen. 

I have been doing my best with avoiding him, once he hears the songs, that's when everything is out in the open. That's when he knows the truth, that's when he knows how I've been actually feeling. That's when I can't lie anymore. 

It's been raining today, I decided to go back to my house. I didn't want the chance of maybe getting caught by Jin. Now yes it might not be the most mature thing that I'm doing. But I need this currently. I need him to have time to process everything, and I don't want to say something that I will regret, I mean I did just make that song. So truly, I don't know. But what I do know is once that conversation happens it will be different. 

" You've been avoiding me, and I don't like that. These past three weeks have been torture for me, and all I want to do is talk to you. " I stood frozen in my spot, knowing that Jin has finally found me. That me avoiding him has finally caught up to me. " Your song, and I know you know exactly what one I'm talking about... do you mean it? " He then asks, I turn around to face him and he's standing in front of me looking distressed. 

" Yes... I meant every word I wrote for that song. But we had that agreement, and I wasn't going to try to change it. But I wanted to... I needed to get that out, I needed to write that song. And yes I know that might be annoying or frustrating for you. But that's what I needed. " As I was talking he was stepping closer and closer to me. 

" I need to get this out... I like you, and I feel the same way. I want this to be more, I want us to be more. And yes, yes I know it took you making that song for me to fully tell you. But I want to be more, I want to be able to call you my partner. " I start chuckling from him admitting everything, and feeling stuck in this place. " So... please be my partner, " he whispers to me as he grabs a hold of my face. I nod towards him, and he pulls me in and kisses me. 

Did we have our troubles yes, yes we definitely did. But in relationships one of the best things for it is finding someone that you're willing to go through those troubles with.