The room is spinning and I feel like I can't breathe. I confessed something at the worst possible time. In my defense I didn't think he was actually proposing. I thought it was a joke. So here I am, in front of everyone, not knowing what to do.
There's yelling going on from all sides. Sawyer pacing back and forth, spewing random hurtful words toward everyone. Joseph giving me the disappointed look mixed with a little pity. Avery is yelling at Sawyer to calm down and Evan pours himself a drink.
Sawyer rushes to me, angrily. He breathes in before he looks around the room.
"You knew? You all knew?" He points at everyone. They all slowly nod. "Is this why you didn't want me marrying her?" Sawyer turns to Evan, who nods once again.
Joseph slowly walks toward Sawyer but the closer he gets the further Sawyer steps away from him.
The betrayal on Sawyers face is something I've never seen before. I imagine it's as close as heart break, his eyes are as watery as mine.
He looks at everyone except me, like he can't find a person to run to with all his problems. He's still in shock and disbelief.
Joseph raises his hands in surrender.
"No. Stop!" Sawyer shouts. "You did this. You caused this.
"If you didn't leave none of this would have happened!" Joseph raises his voice.
"You son of a bitch!" Sawyer shouts and swings his fist right into Joseph's face. Jospeh is caught off guard but recovers within seconds as he holds his face. "So it's my fault?" The more he processes this the angrier he seems to be getting.
"Dammit Sawyer." Joseph looks at me, tears are still spilling. I know he's angry I said something. I ruined everything. "I know there has to be a way we can work things out, so that things can be right between me, you and Opal."
Sawyers shaking his head, "There's no way in hell things will ever be the same."
Joseph looks down in defeat, not knowing what else to say.
Sawyer covers his ears and closes his eyes as he thinks. Everyone is talking at once and I'm
just standing here, crying. No apology can fix this.
Joseph steps away and pushes me to Sawyer. I try holding back but his push is a little forceful. When I'm finally in front of Sawyer I can feel the heat from him. His breathing is hard as he tries to regulate his anger. I slowly but shakily reach my hand out to touch him and when I do, he seems to visibly calm.
His eyes shoot open and he looks down at me. One swift movement I'm being pulled upstairs and into his room. He gently tells me to sit and I do.
I really don't know what to say or how to begin, I don't expect Sawyer to listen or believe me ever again.
Sawyer moves toward me and stands right in front of where I'm sitting on the bed. I look up at him, his expression unreadable.
"Okay, so all of this is just some sick twisted mess and it's all fucked up. You and Joseph..."He whispers the last part.
"It's not our fault. Joseph planned this whole thing. He told me not to tell you ever. I couldn't keep it in. I didn't want to lose you."
He gives me a 'are you kidding me' face.
"What?" I press.
"You're seriously justifying all of this?"
I think I am. I don't want to be the blame.
"No." I tell him.
"Liar." He mutters and I can't help but sigh in defeat.
"Were you going to tell me at all? Or were you going to try to play it off and comfort me when I was upset for finding out the truth?" He asks.
