It's late, Avery is probably talking Lauren's ear off. I can't face them right now, I ran straight to my room as soon as I saw them in the living room.
I'm lying down just aimlessly staring at my ceiling. I hear Avery come in and a thump. I watch as she tosses a book on the floor and takes out a pair of new pajamas from her shopping bag.
She turns to me with a smile, "So, how did the date go? Any juicy details?"
"It didn't..." I sigh to her.
"What do you mean?" She questions and sits on the edge of my bed.
"I screwed it up. It was me. All me."
We both stay silent and I'm not sure if I should tell her everything. I can only imagine the shock and horror that will come to her face when I tell her I might like Sawyer. I would lose the respect I just earned.
I wish I could talk to someone. My mom would know what to do.
"Were you crying?" She looks at my face. "You were."
"No, it's nothing."
"Joseph pulled something didn't he? He's holding your hand and the next minute it's not your hand he's holding..." Her eyes are fiery, blazing. "Guys are ...they can be such..."
"It's not like that." I stop her before she starts ranting about guys.
"Look, if he pulls that crap, you know you can tell me. I've had a few of those kinds of incidents with guys." She rolls her eyes.
"Jospeh was fine."
"You sure?" She eyes me.
"The only thing he did was kiss me. I just froze." I sigh out, embarrassed.
"Ohhh. First kiss?" She asks and settles into my bed.
"No..." I roll my eyes with a huff. "Yes."
"So? It's just your first kiss. Not a big deal." She shrugs. "I'm guessing since you froze up he thought you weren't into him. It happens. He should have expected that from you." She says and I glare at her.
"All you have to do is tell him you were surprised and nervous. And ask him out. Try again."
I don't think I want to try again...
I grab a blanket and my sweats and big t-shirt.
"I just need to be alone. You're getting the room all to yourself." I tell her.
"What?" She sits up, slightly confused.
"I'm just gonna sleep in the next room. Since Daniel is gone. I'm not good company right now." I can see the hurt in her eyes. I've been doing that lately.
When I'm at the door I turn to her, "Thank you for listening. For backing me up, I appreciate it." She slightly smiles, nods and I walk out of the room.
I regret not staying with Avery. I'm all alone curled up in bed and silently crying about how horrible my life is. And then I hate myself for being sad and pitying.
All I have is a hurt Jospeh, a pissed of Sawyer and a rebuffed Avery.
I wish I can go home. If I had the guts I would be packing my bags right now and leave before I make things worse. I hate myself for being so weak and all I can do is cry about it. The only good thing that comes from crying is the exhaustion and sleep that follows.
A tap on the door wakes me up. I squint trying to find the lamp on the side table, but remember I changed rooms.
"Opal? It's me." There's a pause and he adds, "Sawyer." There's no way I can mistake his deep rumble for anyone else. Just like I can't mistake the little part of me that is perking up like an eager puppy. To rush to the door to see what he wants.
