CHAPTER 45

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"When was the last time you had a good nights sleep?" Sawyer questions. I'm sitting on his office table as he checks for a fever and makes sure all my vitals are the same. I give him a confused look,

"I've been sleeping great. I've taken melatonin every night, like you told me to." I back up my lie. The truth is, I haven't been sleeping. I get so restless and lie in bed staring aimlessness at the darkness. He hums at my response as he tells me to open my mouth so he can check my tonsils. He presses down the sides of my neck, checking my lymph nodes.

"Swallow." He says and I swallow. He hums again and I stare at him waiting for him to explain. He checks my pulse and hums again and I start to feel uneasy.

As he continues to check my vitals and reflexes I distract myself by looking out his large floor to ceiling window.

"It's beautiful outside." I quietly comment. It's pouring rain. It's finally starting to get cold and summer is rounding to an end. He stops what he's doing and takes a moment to admire outside. He smiles as the rain starts to pour harder.  "It's just the perfect weather to lie in bed and cuddle." I hug my arms as I try to imagine cuddling with all my blankets eating some warm snack and my books, well Sawyers books. 

"We can do more than cuddle if you want." Sawyer playful says and I hold in my glare.

"What, you mean like kissing?" I question.

Sawyer exhales, "Sure, like kissing." He says like I'm stupid and not getting his hint. But I know exactly what I'm doing.

"How can someone not love this weather? The smell, the sound, what's not to love?" I question, changing the subject. Sawyer hums at my complaints. I turn to him excitedly,

"Have you ever just stood in the rain, let the droplets hit your skin? It's soothing, almost like everything you've been holding onto gets washed away. It's good therapy. You should try it." I say all in one go.

"I know you hate coffee but did you happen to drink some this morning?" He questions and I playfully slap his arm.

"No." I scrunch my nose, coffee gives me absolute headaches.

"Then remind me to put less sugar in the homemade whip cream." He says and I glare. 

"Am I free to go?" I question.

"Almost." He says. I sit there quietly.

"I've been fine for weeks, is there really any point in you know this whole process?" I speak up. Sawyer hums again, he bites on his pen then looks directly at me.

"What?" He questions.

"I swear, Sawyer. You never listen to a word I say." I roll my eyes and he continues to read his charts.

"You're free to go." He says, shooing me away. I swear he only keeps me sitting there to torture me.

"You owe me sloppy joes." I point a warning finger at him. His back is to me as he types on his computer. He raises his arm up and gives me a thumbs up.

I close the door behind me. Everyone in the house is still asleep. I haven't slept so I just got out of bed to find Sawyer in his office. He did my usual routine and now I'm hungry. It's only six in the morning but staying up all night takes the energy out of you.

I sit alone on the kitchen island as I wait for my cereal to get soggy. I stare off into the backyard, the gloomy day making me yawn. I take a bite of my cereal and hear someone walk in. Sawyer turns on the coffee machine and leans against the counter. I feel him staring but when I look up he's busy reading a news paper.

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