The Submissive Assassin (BxB)

Chapter 77 - Love Was A Curse

"Why do you stay here?"

Dante hadn't heard much of Nate's voice during his stay, hence any moment Nate spoke, it was as if his entire body jittered, his focus undivided. It had been only a day since he admitted that they were going to have a funeral for Molly and Judy, and it had been a couple hours until Nate stopped crying. Nothing else had been said and Dante eventually fell asleep in the same chair he had stayed in throughout Nate's stay.

When his eyes turned to Nate, he was taken aback when Nate was staring back at him. It wasn't the carefree Nate that he had first met; this one barely seemed alive. They were pale, his irises discoloured and even though their gazes were connected, Dante didn't feel as if Nate was truly staring at him. Nate's voice had been raspy, barely any life left within it to make it float. Rather his voice sounded flat, not a hint of emotion.

He shuffled in his seat and cleared his throat; he wondered which answer Nate was expecting or searching. To him, it was obvious why he was staying by Nate's side and the reason should have already been known to Nate. Hence he paused, furrowing his brows for a moment, even glancing elsewhere for a second before finally saying, "Because I love you, Nate."

At first, Nate seemed stunned, frowning while keeping his gaze locked with Dante's gray irises. It was as if Dante had spoken a complete different language, the confusion wrinkling the middle of his forehead. It shocked Dante when Nate abruptly burst into cackles, turning away and leaning his head backwards as he laughed so hard that he could barely breathe. That was a reaction that Dante wasn't sure how to respond to, since he hadn't been joking one bit.

"You admitted that to me," Nate recalled, a memory that suddenly flashed through his mind. It felt as if they hadn't been lived by him by how much he had endured. "You were sleep talking once and said that you love me." That was a surprise to Dante who inhaled a sharp breath, without letting it out for a few seconds.

Nate raised an eyebrow; Dante noticed his eye glinting but he wasn't sure if the tears were from his laughter or his quivering fingers gripping the bed sheet so tight that his nails were practically tearing the fabric apart.

"If only I had known your love was a curse."

Dante swallowed hard, looking away for a moment. He had expected this talk to happen sooner or later, where Nate exploded all his sentiment onto him. Still, it didn't hurt any less knowing that it was going to happen. He leaned forward, his lips tightened into a fine line; he wasn't sure what to even respond.

He didn't have to since Nate wasn't finished.

"If I had known this was what your love would've cost me..." he chuckled in disbelief, shaking his head as he stared at his brutal injuries, his mind racing with the memories of being in that basement cell. "I should've listened to Judy when she offered to jump from the window that day."

Those were memories that Dante had completely forgotten happened. The first time they met, he followed Nate to his apartment and when he knocked on the door, Aunt Judy had suggested jumping out the window, to which Nate refused and opened to door instead. Time had been terribly different back then that it felt as if it was a lifetime ago, even though it hadn't even been a year.

This was not the Nate he had first met.

"If I had known, I would've let you kill me and Judy without hesitating. Hell, there's no difference now since she's dead because of you." Nate was staring at him and Dante felt his throat squeeze on itself. Now, he was certain the tears leaking onto Nate's cheek was not from laughter but from a sorrow so deep within his soul that he didn't have any other means to express.

Through gritted teeth, he hissed, "You ruined me."

Dante exhaled a sharp breath, slowly shaking his head. "Nate, I will take care of you and I'll—"

"You destroyed me." The hatred evoked within his eyes was so strong, emotions that Dante had never witnessed from Nate before. He had to look away from them since they were starting to physically hurt him. "You took away my life...all for sex." A snort escaped his lips as he repeated incredulously, "...for sex."

"Nate..."

"What am I supposed to do now?" he cried, leaning forward in his bed. He motioned towards the stub he had left as if his left arm and the eyepatch covering his eye socket. "Go back to high school? Graduate? Go to college? Like this?!" He couldn't help but let another loud laugh echo across the room before shouting, "Did it ever matter to you what I wanted to fucking do?"

Dante had to look away.

"All I wanted to do was go drink with my aunt that day and you stopped us and gave me an ultimatum of beating you up," he laughed when he said that, "...or die." Nate's breathing was growing heavier. "I did what I had to do to survive and you call that love?"

There was a short pause, Dante still unable to look Nate in the eye but feeling the need to say, "We did grow feelings for one another—"

"Shut your fucking mouth."

It was odd since it felt as if the roles were reversed. Nate had always been the one keeping his act straight to please Dante, following his orders and avoiding anything that would bother him. But in this moment, Dante felt a sweat drop on the corner of his forehead; why was he frightened?

"Then you would randomly show up. At school, at bars, Raphael came to my doorstep to go talk to you." It was as if he was replaying everything that happened to him in his head, watching a movie unfold that he already knew the plot twist to. "You started getting jealous of everyone...you involved yourself in everything that happened in my life. You got jealous of Andrew who you ask Raphael to get rid off. You got mad that I thought Jules was attractive. Eric came back and that was the end of the world for you."

Dante swallowed hard.

"How many times have you threatened or tried to kill me?" He couldn't help himself from chuckling before he snarled through gritted teeth, "And you call that love?!"

"I wasn't raised the way you were Nate—"

"Shut up."

Dante tried again, his quivering voice almost pleading for a chance to be heard. "I'm not sure I even know what love is—!"

"I said," he slammed his fist against the bed, "SHUT UP!"

That was when they both noticed the beeps from his heart rate speeding up to an alarming rate, making Dante instantly stand to his feet. It was also evident that Nate didn't know what was going on, why he couldn't recover his breath as he placed his head palm on his chest, his eyes widening as he attempted to slow down his exhaled but nothing was working.

"Nate," Dante approached him, attempting to reach for him, "you have to try and calm down—"

"Don't you fucking touch me," he snapped, smacking Dante's hand away. "Don't you ever fucking touch me." His breathing had noticeably increased, as if he had ran a marathon but he was too focused on his anger that he didn't realize it. "The worst part is that you're not even willing to finish what you started." He pointed his finger towards him. "I begged you to kill me and you couldn't even...you couldn't do...what's happening, I can't breathe—"

"We need a nurse!" Dante screamed, rushing to the exit and waving his hand urgently. His voice echoed down the hall as he yelled, "His heart rate is too fast!"

When Dante returned to his side, Nate had fainted, and the swarm of medical workers rushing inside the room made him have to wait outside for any updates.