Tired of fighting

Chapt: 45

That one night....

I'm sitting on the floor next to my bed against the wall just staring at the wall.

I hear footsteps behind the door.

The door is on the left side of me and the bed in front so i'm staring to the other side of the room.

"Amora come on it's been 4 days! You need to come out of your room!" I hear River say.

I don't say anything.

"We're worried sick of you!" He says.

"Amora answer!" He says.

"Alright i'm done with this i'm getting in!" He says.

I hear something on the lock and he is trying to open it.

Then i hear a thick and the door opens.

I don't even look at him i keep my eyes on the wall.

I see in the corner of my eye him looking at me.

I probably look like a dead fish or something. Probably mascara everywhere under my eyes red puffy eyed and red cheeks but I don't care.

Every thought every memory or nightmare is back. It was gone for a long time because of my brothers and a bit because of Thomas but now he is dead I don't have anyone to hold on too or just someone who understands.

He was there when everything happend he had been trough a lot too like me.....

He was like my anchor or something.

"Amora....." he says walking towards me.

He kneels in front of me and i avoid eye contact and focus on outside.

Its raining i love rain and hate it at the same time. It's making me even more depressed but it's also a nice sound peaceful.

River sits in front of me against my bed.

He sighs."amora come on...." He says after 30 minutes of sitting and saying nothing.

I'm just lost in my thoughts i do hear him but just in the background.

I don't feel sorry because everyone knows they need to leave me alone but he doesn't.

Or he cares

No he does not

After another 20 minutes he stands up and kneels in front of me blocking the window so i look him in the eyes.

This kept me out if my thoughts his eyes his dreaming eyes.

I keep eye contact and just enjoy his eyes.

He has tears in his eyes.

"Amora you look do tired did you even sleep?" He says.

No

It's rather sleeping whole days or not for days long. The first day i only slept en listened to music but I've been up around 2 days or more. I feel that i'm tired but not that tired.

"God Amora answer!" He says.

"That's not gonna help just leave her alone she will come out some day." I hear Anthonio say in the doorway.

River stands up and walks to the door.

"Just please we all miss you." River says and close the door.