Tired of fighting

Chapt: 57

i sit there almost the whole night laying on the grass staring at the stars. were me and River had our date....

i texted him and called him a lot but he doesn't answer it goes straight to voicemail en the text doesn't even send.

so i think elio made him delete my number or block me.

after a while of laying on the grass i look at my phone for the time and see that it's 4:50am.

well i better stay here for the sunrise.

so i do that.

it's a beautiful sunrise and all i can think of River. i want him with me hugging me snd telling me it's alright.

but it's not.

i'm gonna all night elio id already mad.

and what i'm mostly thinking about is anthonio and charles how is that gonna be. because of what i said i don't want their relationship get breaken up because of me.

i hate myself for this.

i let this happen i should've not fallen in love?

yeah funny i really cannot control that part.

later i decided to go back.

I take a deep breath before i open the front door.

i slip inside and i expect one of my brothers turning of the light and yelling at me but there's no one.

i walk upstairs and walk to my room.

i lock my door and just feel the tears coming up.

and i immediately break down on my bed.

i almost cried the whole night.

but i was done with that because my head fucking heart as hell.

i went to sit on my window thing you know....

and just look at the sun or something.

after i don't know for how long i hear a knock on the door.

"amora are you in here?" i can hear it's charles.

"go away please i don't want breakfast." i say.

"hut your brothers wanted to speak with you" charles says.

"well i don't care tell them to leave me alone!" i say.

i can hear him walk away.

i let out a deep sigh.
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its been a few weeks i think 5 and i haven't really left my room.

only to go to the gym when i know everyone is going to school or work.

i don't want to go to school and they can't force me. so what i do on a day?

well most of the time cry or just sit in silence. but also read books. on my phone or something.

now i'm reading a book when i hear a knock on my door.

"hey amora i know your mad but Elio is on a business trip with few guys of him we're without him and i'm in charge. i want to talk to you please just come downstairs. i hope to see you" lorenzo says.

i look to the door.

can i trust them?

is it true

because i hate my brother now

he can piss off or go to hell

so if he is goingo to a business trip i do want to talk to my brothers because i'm not mad at then or anything.