𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝘽𝙇𝘼𝘾𝙆 𝙋𝙃𝙊𝙉𝙀 𝙄𝙈𝘼𝙂𝙄𝙉𝙀𝙎

𝐇𝐄𝐋𝐏 𝐌𝐄 𝐅𝐈𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐘 𝐁𝐋𝐀𝐊𝐄 - 𝐟.𝐛

TW:
(angst, talk of sh, suicidal thoughts, suicide, ed)

I LAID ON MY BED watching the birds outside chirp, i had recently just self harmed in my bathroom, my arms hurt like hell.

i didn't wanna live anymore, i hated everything about my life, except for one, finney blake. he's the only reason i'm trying to hold on.

he tells me it'll get better but it really doesn't, he knows it doesn't he just doesn't wanna tell me "oh yeah your life's shit it's not ever gonna get better" but thats the reality of it.

my life is like it's on repeat, wake up, go to school, come home, get yelled and beat by my drunk father, self harm, not eat, sleep. and then it just repeats. kinda sad right

and then i have my mom telling me i'm lazy and that "kids these days are always outside playing you should be too!"

so stupid. atleast those kids have a good life, they're happy. healthy, have a good family to go home to.

if those kids had my life they would be just like me. while i was overthinking i felt two arms wrap around me from behind "y/n" i heard finney say

i immediately turned around and hugged him, he hugged me back while softly running his hand down my spine.

"i'm so tired finney" i said "go to sleep then" he said "no...different tired" i said, he knew what i was talking about "oh y/n" he said sighing

"when will it ever get better finn" i said, he didn't say anything he just stared into my eyes, he tucked hair behind my ear "just please y/n don't give up, i don't know what i'll do without you" he said as tears filled his eyes

i didn't say anything "promise me y/n" he said "i can't promise finn" i mumbled "y/n please. don't. i'm begging, i need you" he said

"just keep trying" he said "do you know how long i've kept tying! 10 fucking years!" i said "i know y/n but... just think about your future!" he said

*what future?*

i lowered my head "what about robin?" he said "don't bring him up in this" i said, see my brother robin. he took his own life about a year ago.

my parents didn't even care. but i did. i cried my eyes out until i fell asleep.

"no y/n im sorry but i'm gonna bring him up, do you think he would want you to just end it like that" he said.

"look finn, i don't have anything to look forward to anymore, what's even the point?" i said "us. getting married. having kids. getting a job, buying your first house, getting your first pet, y/n there's so much to look forward to!" he said

i shook my head "not for me finn" i said, he didn't say anything he just stared at me with teary eyes "so your actually going to do it" he said

"i don't know" i said "what can i do to stop this y/n" he said

"get me a new family" i said chuckling "come live with me!" he said "finn you know that's not possible" i said

"yes it is!" he said "finn no." i said, he sighed "just please when your feeling like this, think about how much you have ahead of you, you have a long time until your actual time is up y/n! why just end it now? you haven't even experienced everything yet, you've been alive for 15 years, you still have so long" he said

"just hold on for me...please"

NOVA SPEAKS

this was sad 😭 if anyone struggles with this stuff just know your not alone! lien to what finn said, you still have so long 😕

love you 💗