Finding the Missing Piece: Book 4

Chapter Ten

Peeta POV-

It's taking all I have not to run in and help Katniss, to hold her and tell her it's okay but I can't even speak, let alone move or even look her in the eyes.

And it's not okay.

I'm so ashamed of my behavior but I can't help it.

I don't know what to do and I can't even tell her that I want to have a baby, because I don't right now.

I don't even want Katniss.

And for me to say that hurts like hell and I want to be alone, all alone.

I deserve to be alone and she deserves to be happy.

Katniss POV- (A couple of days later)

We are running out of food fast, but it shows me Peeta has been eating, which is good.

I remember how I wouldn't eat for days and when I did, Peeta would literally force it down my throat.

He is bad but I guess in some ways, he's not as bad as I was at one point.

I finally let him back into our bedroom, even though it's not like it once was.

It's like when we were too afraid to even touch each other but at least he's there.

I didn't even sleep in our room for the longest time after Prim died.

What's the point of 'living' if he isn't laughing or talking much or smiling?

I don't know what to think honestly, what to say or do but I need to leave for a little bit today, I know that much.

"I'm going to the store." I tell Peeta as I walk out of the front door, leaving him laying there on the couch.

I just need to get out of here.

It's like I'm trapped.

He doesn't reply, just looks at me, maybe a little annoyed with my presence.

I roll my eyes and walk out the front door, slamming it shut.

While I am at the store, I decide to buy a box cake to make Peeta for his birthday in like a week. Maybe, I'll buy two but it can't be hard to screw up a cake that comes with three basic ingredients and then some pre-made frosting.

But being that I am Katniss Everdeen, I'm sure I'll find a way to screw it up.

I buy a bunch more pre-prepared food and lots of fruits and vegetables and more cereal and soup too.

I picked out things that came with instructions too, things that were easy to make because we can't just eat microwave meals for the rest of our lives.

When I get home, the things that were surprisingly easy to make were not easy to digest for me.

It was terrible.

I wanted to puke and I did once, after I found a strand of my own hair in the food.

But Peeta ate it without complaint.

Probably just to make me happy, I'm sure.

Even when he is depressed and probably doesn't like me, he still tries to be nice to me.

And I guess, considering what I put him through, I couldn't ask for more than that.