Finding the Missing Piece: Book 4

Chapter Sixty-Eight

Katniss POV-

"We need to talk whether you want to or not." Peeta says, coming into our bedroom after getting out of the shower.

His hair still dripping wet, he's in his underwear.

I freeze, I've been staring at the ceiling for awhile just thinking about this all. Or staring, I think I blanked out longer than I did anything else.

He sits down on the bed next to me, making an indention in the bed.

I don't move a muscle.

He leans down and presses a kiss to my swollen abdomen and I turn my head towards him.

He takes my right hand in both of his.

"What is there to talk about?" I mutter quietly to him.

"A lot, actually." Peeta shoots.

I roll my eyes and turn away from him again.

"Or you could ignore me and we could continue to be upset and make everything so so much better." He starts sarcastically and when I don't say anything I know that makes him more upset. "Whatever then. I guess I'm just not gonna try because I'm pretty upset with you right now anyways." Peeta says and I can tell he's at least trying.

I turn and face him again, tears welling up in my eyes.

"What do I do? I don't know what to say or do or think and I'm confused, Peeta." I cry.

Peeta frowns, "I am too but I think you're being a little dramatic." He says.

"What about Willow? You're her dad and you should be giving her your undivided attention and all your love and you can't because of Carter."

"Katniss, Willow isn't even here yet. I promise you that I'm gonna be there for her when she gets here but it's not Carter's fault that she doesn't have a dad."

"She does have a dad and he's a jerk." I cry.

I hate Brandon, I hate him.

"Well, maybe Willow has a jerk dad too." Peeta says looking away.

"Stop." I cry harder.

"You're the one that said it." Peeta says and I do recall calling him that earlier.

"I'm sorry but I am just really upset. I can't believe she said that."

"She's 9 months old, Katniss. Just let it go. You're not helping anything." Peeta groans frustratedly.

"But you're not her dad."

"Okay, Katniss. That's fine, I'm not her dad and you and I know that but she doesn't know that. She doesn't know she hurt your feelings and she doesn't know what she said, she just said it. Let it go."

"What are we going to do when Willow gets here?" I whine.

He shrugs, "We are going to do everything like we planned and still make time for Carter."

"But we are Willow's parents." I cry.

"Carter doesn't have a dad, she doesn't get that family feel unless she is with us and we both knew what we were getting into. I know we didn't expect our own baby so quickly but she's here and it's not either of their faults. If anything this is our fault." Peeta says and he's absolutely right.

We knew that this would happen eventually but we didn't know it would be so soon. And it's not Willow's fault at all that Peeta has to be a dad to someone else.

That makes me so mad.

And he's right that it's not Carter's fault and I get that but it's not Willow's fault either. She shouldn't have to share her father.

We are her actual parents.

We are bringing her into this world and she's entitled to both of us, period.

I don't say anything.

I just stare up at him and I can tell how upset I've made him and how confused he is but it still doesn't mean any of this is right, nor does it make my actions right.

I know I overreacted but I'm just looking out for Willow because Peeta and I both know what it feels like to miss out on a father and a mother.

"Well?"

"You're right but it's like no matter how hard I try to understand and let it go I can't. It's like your choosing Carter over our baby, Peeta. And that hurts me a lot because I'm doing this for you. You're the only reason I'm not going insane right now."

"We both chose Carter and even Finn over our own babies when we got into it, Katniss. Don't tell me we didn't."

I cry more, it turns into choppy sobs.

"You're the only reason I wanted this, Peeta. You're the only reason when I found out I didn't just crawl in a hole in die, even though I've wanted to a lot." I tell him.

"Okay, thank you for that but you're not getting the big picture here."

"I am too. You're choosing Carter over Willow. I know that."

"I'm not choosing Carter over Willow." He says raising his voice.

"Whatever." I mutter.

"Fine, then I won't have anything to do with any other baby or kid except her, okay? But first thing in the morning, you are calling Bristol and telling her we can no longer watch Carter and then we won't have to worry about it." Peeta says, getting up and slamming the bedroom door shut, flipping the lights out and laying on his side of the bed, facing away from me.

I don't sleep that night, nor do I move a muscle.