Twice's 10th Member Haeju

Former Group

(author's note: this story happened in the past before Haeju joined Twice)

It's hard for me to keep a secret.
Especially about someone that I have a crush on! Usually, when I like someone, I tell everyone about it. The identity of the person who I like becomes a public secret. People don't even ask for it, I tell them by myself! Weird, right? All my friends always know who I like because I keep mentioning about that person. I'm so open about it. I guess I just can't hold the joy of... uhh, love? Lol.
By the way, I have a funny story about it. So, I used to like one of my sunbaes when I was a trainee. It was before I debuted at all. That means, my friends were still Naeul Unnie, Seulgi, etc. And, yes, they knew all about my crush and what I liked about him. Now let me tell you my experience~

***

I was with Naeul Unnie and Seulgi, just chilling together in a room when suddenly I mentioned his name.
"This is nice. We only need one more person," I said.
"Who?" Naeul Unnie asked.
"Yonghwa Oppa. Teehee!" I answered it shyly.
"Again?"
"Yonghwa Oppa is in your head all the time, huh?"
"You should say hi to him, at least, Unnie. Should I help you?" Seulgi offered me.
"What kind of help?" I ask.
"You know... I can manipulate people so they can like each other."
"Like a matchmaker? No, thanks," I rejected her idea, "That was a joke, guys. I didn't really like him, pfft... He's not my type anyway."
"Not your type BUT your heart speaks differently," Naeul Unnie teased me.
"Haha... Seriously, I just wanna close with him as a friend. He's admirable, that's all."
"Close as a friend or more?~ Are you sure about that, hmm?"
"Aww, Unnie, I aaaam~" I answer Naeul Unnie who keeps teasing me, I've been bullied by them for a while until we changed the topic. Seulgi and Naeul Unnie were both such chatters so they had many things to discuss.
You know, there is always this moment when we just stop talking after a long conversation. A transition to take a breath and to look for a different topic to discuss. And at that kind of moment, I said, "Yonghwa Oppaaa~ where are you...?"
"Who do you talk to?" Seulgi asked.
"Nothing. I just say it for fun," I told them.
"That's so random," Naeul Unnie responded shortly.
"Hehe, mian~" I smiled at them innocently. I hoped they forgave my silly habit while having a crush.

I used to talk about him every time I got the chance. I was so overly-dramatic when he's around. Once, he sat one row in front of me in an event and, suddenly, I asked Naeul Unnie to accompany me leaving the room. We just went out without me explained anything beforehand.
"Are you sick? What happens?" she asked as soon as we left the room.
"Yonghwa Oppa was there......"
"Aah......"
"My heart can't take it, Unnie. I don't know why I'm like this. This is so weird," I told her.
"What do you want from him, actually? If it's just as a friend, you only need to talk with him."
"I know... But I don't know... I don't know why I'm nervous. Ugh, this is annoying!"
"Hey hey, it's okay..."
"Is this what people call, ugh, love? I'm happy but... I can't do anything! I don't like this."
"Haeju..."
"Why do I have to be THIS bad at talking to people? Why don't I have a confidence in me, Unnie???" I asked her, half-yelling.
"That's true. You should be confident in yourself. You're beautiful. Trust me. And you have a soft heart. If you ask me, that's more than enough. You shouldn't feel small in front of anyone. Don't be too hard on yourself, please, because you're an amazing person!" she told me.
"You think so?"
She answered me with a nod.
"Am I just being too hard on myself?"
"You don't have to do the first move. Remember, you should be his prize," she motivated me.
"Aww, thank you... I feel kinda flattered. Umm, may I get a hug, please?" I asked.
"Sure," she said before hugging me. When it came to calm me down, Naeul Unnie was the best older sister I've ever had. She never disappointed me.

At least, before that day came...

***

One day, I had a business to do that made me needed to go to where Younghwa Oppa usually practiced. There was a mentor that I needed to meet. As usual, I forced Naeul Unnie and Seulgi to accompany me.
"Come on! Let's visit the cutie Oppa~" I said while we were walking.
"Yeah, we're doing it for you."
"I need to go to a toilet," Seulgi said.
"We will find one there," Unnie answered her.
"I don't care with your schedule, guys. Oppa oppa, come come~~"
"Oh okayy..... We are not important. Only him who matters? Alright, we'll leave," Naeul Unnie said sarcastically.
"Hahaha... Yeah, both of you are no one for me," I replied her.
"You're mean, Haeju," she said again.
"Noooo, just kidding!" I said while grabbing Unnie's hand playfully. "By the way, guys, do me a favor for later: Don't hold yourself to talk with him, okay? Just be cool. Thanks!"
"Uhh, Unnie?"
"Yes, Seulgi?"
"We are the one who should tell you that......"
"......"
"......"
"......"
"You're right."

Then, we arrive at the male practice room. There were not so many people but Yonghwa Oppa was there! I didn't know if I should be happy or not. As usual, he looked so cool, humble, and had a big aura around him. For me, he was one in a million: So rare to find!
At first, Unnie and I finished my business with my mentor. Seulgi and Unnie, as I asked them, talked to Oppa. I focused on everything except Yonghwa Oppa.
Not long after accompanying me, Seulgi left early because he had something else to do. After a little discussion with Naeul Unnie, I went to a room behind the practice area as I needed to find a stapler for my documents. I went to the room alone. Apparently, Yonghwa Oppa was there too. Oh no, he was alone as well.......
"O... Oppa... Do you know where the stapler is?" I forced myself to be the one who talked first.
"Uhh, sorry, there's no stapler here," he says.
"I see... Thank you~"
Right before I was going to leave, Oppa stopped me. "Haeju-ssi!" he called my name.
"Nn... Nae?"
He got up from her chair and walked towards me in silence. I was kinda nervous at that moment. I didn't know what he was going to do. "I'm not sure if I should ask you about this or not," he said.
"Ask what?"
He scratched her head. Oppa seemed to be so hesitant about it. "Mm, you're close to Ran Naeul, right?" he asked.
"Yes......"
"May I get her number, please?"
"Hoo~ What is this?~" I naturally. "Is someone having a crush?"
"Ngg, just for a business."
"Oppa, don't lie to me. I can see it in your eyes. I know this is more than a, ehm, business."
"Hehe... Yeah, actually, I'm... Um... You guess it correctly!" he holds both of his own hand while telling me that. He looks shy.
"Well, if that's so, why don't you ask her number to her directly? It's not that I don't want to give you, but isn't it more manly if you asked her by yourself?"
He took a moment to consider my suggestion. "Sigh, you're right..."
"Your move might impress her, you know," I told him.
"Alright, I'll do it then! Thank you, Haeju-ssi," he tapped my shoulder and smiled.
"No problem, Oppa."
And just like that, he left me blankly in that room. I didn't realize my tears fell until it reached my chin. I had held my feelings long enough! I ran away so no one would see it. No one, not just from Oppa, but Naeul Unnie, Seulgi, or anyone. I remembered this moment so clear because my days of having a crush had ended since then. At that time, I realized that it was the time to move on from him. I knew that Naeul Unnie would reject him anyway, but I needed to end this non-sense love story there. Phew, I felt a lot of lighter that afternoon tho. Much lighter later after crying alone in silence.......

After that, I stopped talking about him. At first, people found it strange but, then, eventually they forgot about it. Hmm... Yonghwa Oppa was the last crush that I had. I never have a crush on a guy anymore. "Don't be hard too hard on yourself," I remembered what Naeul Unnie said to me. Maybe it was all for good. Maybe now I just needed to wait.
"Maybe I needed to stop waiting for my man to appear," was what I thought for several days...