Twice's 10th Member Haeju

Haeju's Little Secret | Part 6

I'm so surprised because her hand is so cold. I almost pull out my hand instinctively. Her hands are as cold as her hand when the first time we did a hand shake. I look at her worriedly.

"Do you ever wonder why my hands are always freezing like this? You felt it, didn't you, back in Seoul?"
"Yes, Kkochi. Are you sick?"
"No, silly, I'm dead."
"Huh? Huh..?" I don't know what to say. I'm not sure with what I just heard, I hope she repeats what she just said and I misheard it.
"Haeju, find my pulse," she tells me. I'm startled for a second but then immediately do what she says. I try hard to find it on the area under her thumb, but it's nothing. I can't find it. I'm so speechless. "You won't find anything," I look at her face. She looks calm in front of me who are shocked by what I just realized.
"You... You..."
"Yeah, I'm dead, Haeju. I'm a ghost.."

"That's my little secret."

I calm myself down and try to act normal. I don't want her to be freaked out. I want her to know that I can accept her condition so she shouldn't worry about it, including the fact that I'm talking to a dead peson. The problem is I still don't know what to do tho. "Why are you here?" ends up becomes the only question that can come out of my mouth.
"Sana," she answers hesitantly.
"Sana?"
"Sana is my best friend, Haeju," she says, "She's the last person I wanna meet before I leave," her voice starts trembling," She, my dear, is the most amazing person I've ever meet in the world. She is so nice that she's the only one who can make me feel loved this much. Her existence means a lot for me."
I listen to her explanation carefully. I know that she really means what she says, I can feel that.
"You know her, right? Sana is always clingy and cheerful. Haha..." Kkochi laughs heavily while looking away, remembering all her memories about her, "No wonder why I love her. Usually, I was also the one who expresses my feelings by being clingy to my friends but sadly I got no return. They said I that I had a cold or scary aura when I didn't smile. Well, I kept telling them that this is my neutral face. The problem is if I smile, the cold turns into the opposite. Very weird right??? I feel like I have two sides of impressions. It doesn't make me feel comfortable."
I think I can relate to what she tells me. I used to be so afraid to people because usually, I appeared so mysteriously when deep inside I knew that I was kinda clingy and so positive inside. It's just weird when I couldn't become my true self in front of people.
"I REALLY care for someone that I love," she continues, "That's just how I am. And one day, I wanted to feel how was it being loved by someone like me. I wonder what does it feel like? There was no give and take. I used to be the one who always gave.
At that moment, Sana came into my life. When I felt that no one only cared about theirself, Sana asked me how did I feel every morning. When I thought that I was too scary to people, Sana always looked for me to play around. She was nice to everyone but so was to me. She made me feel special, Ju. It wasn't hard for us to be closed after that. I was so depended to her. She meant a lot to me..." Kkochi takes my hands and says, "Please take care of her, would you?"

I see a tear drops from the edge of her eyes. Her grip is so weak. I look at her and I feel like her body starts to disappear. I still can't believe that this girl in front of me can leave this world anytime soon and I'm holding her hands for the last time. "It's hard for your soul to leave this world without meeting her for the last time, isn't it?" I ask her with my trembling voice, at first, but then I start to cry along. "Huuu... Kkochi, please don't feel lonely again after thiiiss, huu... Always believes that Sana cares about you. I care about you too. We... We are now friends, right? Please don't go huuuu......"
"I can't Haeju, my time is over."
"I can't do anything, I'm sorryyyyy.....!"
Kkochi hugs me for the last time. Weirdly, I barely can't feel her body. "You've heard my story, Haeju. You are accompanying for in my last time. I don't know why I am being so open to you, Haeju... Maybe because I got no friends or family members to say this pathetic story... Being alone is hard. I want to open up without getting judged... Well, we don't know each other so I got the courage to tell this to you. And why do I chose you, Haeju?"
"Why do I choose you?"
"Why do I choose you? Because I can feel that you know all about this..."

She takes her time before starts speaking again. "If I really bother you I'm really really sorry....."
"No, Kkochi, nooo... It's okay!"
"You're a good person, Haeju. I know I can trust Sana to you," she says weakly.
"Yeah..." I wipe my tears and calm myself down a little bit to say, "Goodbye, Kkochi..."
She giggles, "See you again, Haeju..."
"Take care of yourself!"
"You too!"
"I love you, Kkochi!"
"..."

That's it.
I can't hear anything. I can't feel anything. Her body disappears to the thin air. Like magic, Kkochi's gone as if she's never there. My knees go weak that makes me fall to the ground. I cry so hard that I don't care about anything anymore. Sana is woken up because that and she runs to me. "Jujuuuu, what happens???"
I hug Sana and cries, " Kkochi... Kkochi..."
"What happens to her??? Where's Kkochi?" Sana looks around to find her. I remember that it will be hard for her to accept the situation. I take a deep breath and try so hard to stop crying. I need to be stronger for Sana. This will be the hardest part: Telling her that her best friend is dead.
"She... She's okay, Sana. I'm okay, I'm sorry." I get up and leads her to the couch inside the house.
"Did both of you just fight? Haeju, calm down, I'm here..." she tries to calm me down. So kind of her. Sana is too nice. But now it's the time to deliver the bad news.
"Sana, do you remember my little secret about me being able to see a ghost?" I ask her.
"Yes..?"
I gulp. I really hate to break this bad news to her, "Sigh, let me tell you another secret......."

(to be cont)