Monster School Stuff-

Wither x Skeleton incorrect quotes (mature)

Wither: Sorry I'm late, I was doing things.

Skel: Hi, I'm 'things'.

Wither: You look good in that hoodie.

Skel: You know where else I'd look good?

Wither, zero hesitation: My bed.

Skel, at the same time: By your side- wait, what?

Wither: What are you in the mood for?

Skel: World domination.

Wither: That's a bit ambitious.

Skel: You are my world.

Wither: Aww...

Skel:

Wither:

Skel:

Wither: OH.

Wither: When you said 'Magic in Bed', I wasn't expecting this...

Skel: *pulls out card from deck* Now, was this your card?

Wither: Holy moly-

Wither: Hey, I'm getting in the shower. Wanna help me out?

Skel: ...Have you never taken a shower before?

Stray, bursting into the room: You two are having s**!

Wither, not looking up from their book: Really? Skel, why didn't you tell me? I would have put my book down.

Skel: When I was married, you know what Wither often said to me?

Stray: Please stop sleeping with other people?

Stray: Who do we know that has handcuffs?

Wither: Well Skel and I-

Skel: *elbows Wither*

Wither: ...wouldn't know.

Wither: Skel! I can't do this stupid math!

Skel: What's the math problem?

Wither: Well, we have to add the bed, subtract the clothes divide the legs, and hope we don't multiply.

Husk, covering Stray's ears, while Skel smacks Wither upside the head: Not going to lie that was hella smooth.

Husk: I sleep with a gun under my pillow.

Stray: I sleep with a knife.

Wither: Both of you are pathetic.

Husk: Oh yeah? What do you sleep with?

Wither: Skel.

Skel: Well, Wither and I finally did it!

The rest of the squad: *gasps, shocked expressions, etc.*

Skel: That's right... We kissed!

Wither: Bonjour, Skel. Voulez–vous coucher avec moi?

Skel: No, I don't want to sleep with you.

Wither: Is that what that means? Oh, man, I had a really gross tennis instructor.

(Wither sucks in French and he's French like wth?)

Wither: As top in this relationship, I think we should-

Skel: I can't believe you're pulling rank on me.

Wither: Wow, Skel, you want to hold my hand before marriage? How awfully lewd of you.

Skel: We literally slept together yesterday.

Wither: That's NOTHING compared to the lewdness of holding hands.

*At a speed dating event*

Skel: Oh wow, people are really shallow.

Wither: Consider it a background check. For example: Do you have a death certificate?

Skel: *Checks their pulse* Sorry, not yet.

Wither: Good, I'm not f***ing a ghost again.

Skel: Do you think s** without love is a sin?

Wither: If it is, I'll see you in hell.

Wither: There are 20 letters in the alphabet, right?

Skel: Nope, there's 26.

Wither: Ah, I must have forgotten U, R, A, Q, T.

Skel: Aww, that's cute, but you're still missing one.

Wither: You'll get the D later ;).

Skel: I feel like doing something stupid.

Wither: I'm stupid, do me.

Skel: What's your body count?

Wither: Do you mean s** or murder?

Skel, turning to Wither: Stop calling yourself hot, the only thing you can turn on is the microwave.