Maybe, a dream? // Niall Horan

Chapter 31: Apologies.

NIALL'S P.O.V

Soon after she said no, I felt weak. Internally and externally. So this was it for us?

No, it can't be.

"No?" My voice croaked. She gulped heavily, her eyes tearing still. I hadn't noticed I was crying until my eyes began watering, I hardly cry, but this really is so heartbreaking that without my consent, the tears are flowing.

My hands fell from her cheeks, wiping my unwanted tears and then I went further into the kitchen, to grab a glass of water. I opened the fridge, that was when she came to me, shouting my name rapidly.

"Niall," She hugged me from behind. I got goosebumps as her hands wrapped on my torso.

"Stop, now that I think-." I stopped myself.

"No! You didn't listen to me!" She yelled.

"Stop. Yelling." I hissed, because yelling always makes me more angry. "And what is there to listen, anymore? You said its over, then over it is." I slammed the fridge door and turned to face her.

"I didn't- I didn't mean that." She looked down. What?

"Wait, what? What does no means then?" I asked calmly.

"That- Niall, do you want- um... Do you want this to be it?" She turned the subject.

"No, tell me what did no meant back there?" I asked curiously.

"I- I- do you want this to end?" She asked.

"No! I mean, I wouldn't force you to stay if you don't want to?" I spoke carefully. "Tell me, just this once. Did it ever occur to you that I might not care about you the way you do about me?"

"...Maybe." She looked down again.

My fault, I thought. Everything is my fault. But I didn't wanted to be one of those guys who let their love go just because they think they are not good for their girls. No way in damn hell I would do that.

"Babe, I do care about you, a lot actually. It was just that, I hadn't eaten since yesterday, do you know what that means? Like, I'm hungry, just for you, I don't want to eat." Her mouth gaped open as I continue. "I have hurt you, I know, but I want to make it alright. I want to make your pain go away, but since Daniel came, I'm jealous, okay? I'm always thinking about how to make you more happy or-"

She cut me off.

"Niall, I love you. I know you care about me. Its just that.... You don't show it they way you are supposed to. And about him, Don't be jealous, I've told you many times that we are friends, but-"

"-but friends don't kiss remember?" I butted in.

"Niall please! I think I've apologised?" Her voice was raising slightly with ragged breathing.

"Fine." I sighed, giving in. "But I want you to promise me one thing before it's officially over." She gasped.

"What? I thought- I thought you didn't want this to end?"

"But I thought you wanted to...?" I asked, hoping she wouldn't say no.

"I never said I want to. I just..." She sighed, her chest raising slightly, capturing my attention. She was wearing my big tee, which was large size to me, so it was hanging on her knees.

"Hmm." I hummed at whatever she said. I was just in the fantasy of her. How I'll never be able to kiss those beautiful lips.

She was just looking at me blankly. I practically had to peel my eyes away from her and look into her eyes.