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We leave the room – Amy first, than Aaliyah, than me and last Shawn. He takes a look to the instruments in the room and the microphone, and I detect myself again by thinking, that under other circumstances I would've loved being here. I can really feel, that this is a space where you can make really good songs. There's a big fluffy couch, a massive count of instruments – several guitars (electro and accustic), an electric piano and an acoustic piano, some strange instruments I identify as a triangle and a big drums-and-percussion-set. Besides, there's an impressing flatscreen at the wall and several boxes. I also detect some botanic decoration and a coffee machine on a sideboard.
On the other side of the room is a bright glassfront, and you can have a look into the bordering room – the actual recording room. My heart makes a little jump thinking of all the possibilities you have to produce your own songs here. Songwriting is really a whole other category than my politic studies.
With lots of regrets and a bad feeling I turn around to the door, just to see Shawn scanning me with a strange view. I meet his gaze vor a moment, than I look away. I hate looking away, but these caramel eyes (gosh, I sound like Amy in her fanfiction!) have really something special that makes you feel glassy and vulnerable.
Shit. Why can't I just be immune to this boy?! A boy that is more than visible in love with another girl. My ex-bestfriend.
How often do I have to underline this to myself until I understand and internalize that?!

Aaliyah's pushed already the button for the elevator. "Shawn, you need to pass by the hotel where Mandy stays. She has all her stuff there." She says it quite casually. - She's probably well aware of the reaction that will come from Shawn (and Amy of course), but she does stay calm and smiles at both of us. Just as we were all good friends. I have to say, I was surprised that Aaliyah called her and I becoming friends earlier. Surprised and a bit happy, too. As you may have recognized my selection of friends minimized in the last weeks a bit. Even though I am not prepared to sit a whole hour with Shawn and Amy in a car. No way. There's no way, that I will spend any other minute watching them flirting and falling more and more in love. And I really don't have the need to be exposed to Shawn's antipathetically looks and to Amy's fake laugh and her mean looks at me whenever I even show that I exist.

"Shawn's car probably parked near the back-door, isn't it, Shawn?", Aaliyah now says, and makes me aware, that I apparently now have to say something. "Aaliyah, I'm gonna take the public transportation-system, as I told you", I say a bit late. (Didn't I say a lot about this earlier?! Did they even listen to me?! Well, it was probably kinda confusing stuff, that I was talking, but either way.)

Shawn's sister points to the window. "It is snowing. And it's fucking dark and cold! You drive with us of course, just as I told you."

My gaze follows her outstretched finger to the window. Okay. She's got a point. Gosh. Why is it so dark again?! Here in Canada in winter it gets really fast dark. Sometimes I think it is like: "Good morning Ontario! Today's at least three beams of sunshine! If you'd like to take a walk, then do it NOW!" And then three seconds later the moderator says: "Good afternoon party-people! You already prepared for putting on the lights?!" Yeah, sometimes I miss Suffolk after all.

But either way. I was not gonna let Shawn take me to the hotel and then to the train-station, all accompanied by Amy. It would be a horror for all of us, wouldn't it?! "I'm getting home by myself, I'm okay, but thank you again Aaliyah for the offer." I smile at her. I know, she just wants to give me any opportunity to talk to Shawn, but honestly, the way, he looks at me right now says in so many ways: "No. Thank you. Never."

"It's fine Aaliyah. If you've said to her, that we would take her to the hotel, than it's something, we'll do", he suddenly says and sighs, when his sister's starting to beam. "But that's then it is. Got it?!"

It's sounds really final.
So yeah. I got it.

It makes a ping and the elevator opens it's doors. Shawn steps in first. I follow him. Aaliyah hesitates a second. She looks at me, and I find a little fire of fight-energy in her eyes. "Be a bit nicer to her, okay?" She says it to Shawn in a warning tone. They exchange several combative looks. Oh gosh. A sister-and-brother-fight is coming. Can't I just be an ostrich pulling my head in the ground?!

"I'm not gonna talk to her", Shawn says, his voice now icy. "Content?"

"Me too", Amy interferes and looks at me furiously. "And I'm not gonna take the elevator with her." Apparently she found back to the language and that in a more than eloquent way. "To be honest I don't want to ever again be with her in elevator. That's nothing I would anybody advice by the way."
She's alluding to my fear of elevators – of course does she know of it.

"Well, lucky you, you don't have to!", Aaliyah says smiling shiny. "We take the stairs."

"What, what?! No!", Amy turns around to us, and I can't see Shawn's face, but it's probably not that nice. "If you don't want to, than we take the next one. But we surely won't get into that elevator with them." Aaliyah says it extremely politely. "And now bye you two."

I look at her with a helpless look, and she gives me a supportive smile like "You've got that!"

Amy's still arguing and trying to move past Aaliyah, but she's standing as a rock between us, the now closing doors of the elevator and Amy. I can see, how she gives Amy a little push into the direction of where I suppose the stairs, and the last moment I can see Amy and she can see me, Amy gives me deathly looks. Now I will be stuck with Shawn in this fucking elevator. But it will only be for seconds, I tell myself. Seconds.

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