ShawnMendes entered Wattpad.

82

[A few weeks ago, in a Café in Toronto]
Just some notes before: Connor and I hadn't been really dating. We were more still in a get-to-know-phase – a phase, where I really began to like him, but not was knowing, if I would be able to ever like him as much as I liked Shawn. I mean, I really wanted to forget Shawn, but that is never as easy as it sounds.
To be honest, at the moment, I was more than happy to have Connor as a friend – someone, who didn't know about Shawn and me and everything that happened. Someone, who was listening to me in a good manner, and who just wanted to support me. And as I mentioned before: I would be more than happy to fall in love with Connor, but I didn't see myself able for that at the moment, something, that I did tell Connor already. Moreover, I was moving to England soon.
So we've decided to stay with casual dating and being friends at the moment.

Today, we've met at the café, I met Connor the first time, right after being dumped by Amy (and Shawn). We're sitting at the table, the coffee in front of us (cocoaccino!) and each of us a piece of cake looking incredible good.
Connor told me, he wanted to talk with me about something important, so I am kinda excited and kinda afraid, he's gonna ask me to be his girl-friend again. - But no. That wouldn't be Connor. He's accepting my wish for time and he wouldn't make me feel pressured. I hem. "So."

"So", Connor grins at me apparently nervous.

"What's going on, Connor?" I scan him. Now, I see more signs of nervousity: He's running with his fingers through his hair, and he's playing around with his phone. "Everything okay?" I lay my hand on his to calm him down.
He looks up. "Well, yeah. I guess so. So I need your advice."

"Okay. I'm up to it. – How can I help?"

"So, I met this girl. She's pretty and smart and very funny."

"Oh, yeah, well, that sound's really like a problem."

"No, well, that isn't one", Connor grins a bit whimsically. "It's more about my best friend."

"Your best friend?" I frown. "What's with him? Didn't you want her to meet him? Don't you want her to meet him anymore?"

"No, no! I of course want you to meet him still! But there's just the problem, that..." Connor makes a little pause, seeming to not know how to express himself. Then he says a bit hastily: "Every girl falls in love with him."

"What?!" I stare at him.

He hems. "Look. My best friend's kinda a guy, who's living the cliché – he's good-looking, super-funny, friendly and very kind."

"So are you. What's the thing?"

"He's on top the charisma on his side. You know, the thing, people get, when they kinda reach a position in life, and they are more or less honestly adored by everyone, while not being able anymore to really look through it all because it's sometimes a crazy world."

I need some seconds, to understand, what Connor's trying to say. Then I answer: "So he's a business-man?"

Connor's keeping silent for a moment. Then he looks at me with a hit of realization. "Yes, I think, he is. ... And he's not. - Actually, he would hate someone calling him that."

"Connor, I think, you need to get a little bit more precisely, because I only get half of what you're saying." I raise my eyebrow. "But maybe, I should just meet him in person and then I can tell you, if I wanna fall in love with him immediately."
I say it with a striking tone, but I can see, that Connor's face is darkening. "Look Mandy, I know, that you are different than all the other girls - I am just worried, that..."

I can see, that he hates to admit it. So I speak it out loud for him: "You're worried, that he's gonna fall in love with me? And he's gonna try make me fall in love with him?" I laugh to show Connor, how ridicculus I think this imagination is. "I promise you, I'm not the type for a guy who can have every girl as you describe."

"You're a girl every intelligent guy with eyes would fall for", Connor reaches over the table for my hand, and I allow him to take it. I feel a soft pressure, and I think again of the fact, how a special young man made me feel several months ago. I breath in and I breath out. Then I smile and reply the pressure on Connor's hand. "Tell me more about him. How was this all in the past a problem?"

Connor breaths in and out either. He hems again. "The problem is, that every of the girls I've met until Angelina just wanted me, because it got her closer to him."

"Does he know that?"

"I don't think so. I think, he has already enough problems, so he doesn't need to be burdened with such a ... dumb ... thing."

"I don't think, that this is dumb", I say. "I think, this is important. Very important. Cause, you know how it went with Amy and me, right? Communication is the keyword!" I make a pause. "And so that's the reason, why we're talking about it, isn't it? - But I think, you need to talk with your best friend about it too. – Excuse me please, but what's the name of your best friend? I don't think, that you'd tell me, how he's called, even though we're talking since ... weeks ... about him."
Connor hesitates for a long second – honestly, it's more a good short minute, and then he says: "It's ... Peter."

I stare at him. "Peter? Really?"
It sound's like he just founded that name. He seems to realize that too, cause he suddenly says: "Fuck, okay. I don't want to lie to you. I wanna be totally honest with you. ... It's not Peter. It's-" He lifts the pressure on my hand. "It's Shawn. Shawn Mendes. Mandy, my best friend is Shawn Mendes."

— — —

🗒️✍🏻 Mandy's songbook

...

Remembers me of how he held me in the dark
How he held me, when the light was fading out. (Uh, hm. Uh, hm.)

Your face's everywhere
(His face's everywhere, his face's everywhere)

🎶

It's so hard to get over you
(get over him, get over him)
TV
Radio

My mother's phone calls
And her asking if I'm fine
Me laughing over the fact that I'm still feeling
all this crazy stuff
Me crying, crying me to sleep,
thinking 'bout the way you held me
(he held me),
held me in the dark

Hm, hm, Oh. Oh.

...

🎶