ShawnMendes entered Wattpad.

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"It is because of you, Shawn, okay?! If you really want to know it."

Aaliyah does seem to be immediately regretting to have said it.

Shawn looks at her shocked. To be honest, everybody's looking kinda shocked.

"It's because you're famous. Everything's because your famous", Aaliyah says with a sad smile. "I know I am famous too only because of you. My influencer-carreer would be nothing without you having posted stuff on Vine back then. It wouldn't exist. And I am grateful for having these amazing opportunities that come along with Instagram and Tik-Tok and all of that. But when I go through the university, everybody's just seeing you. Shawn Mendes. I mean, I am used to it, but at school this was something different. This was kinda a safe space, I had friends that I had already before you became famous, before I got famous too. University's something completely else. Nobody's wanting to be friends with me, Aaliyah. They all want to be friends with Shawn Mendes' sister."

Shawn's gotten really white in the face, and I have to admit I don't know what to say. I can feel that everyone else at the table is struggling too. Then, Aaliyah's and Shawn's mother stands up to come around the table. "Oh, honey." She takes her daughters hand and looks up to her. "I didn't know that this is how you were feeling."

Tears are shimmering in both of their eyes, and Shawn's and Aaliyah's father hems. "I didn't know too if that does play any role."

"But I did", Shawn says, finally. His eyes are shimmering kinda weird, and his mouth makes some strange movements, as he is holding back tears. His voice's cracking. "I did."

Suddenly, he makes a movement and stands up from the table. "I'm sorry. "
Without saying anything more, he turns around and leaves the room. Suddenly, Aaliyah breaks out into tears. "I didn't meant to hurt him. I didn't want to ruin Christmas. I am so sorry, mum, dad."

"Shhhshhh, it's okay, Aaliyah", her mum takes her into a hug, and I take this as a keyword to look after Shawn. I nod to my mum, who is talking silently to Manuel and Gerald, and she gives me an encouraging smile. I reply it. Than I leave the room too.

***

Remember those walls I built
Well, baby, they're tumbling down
~
It's like I've been awakened
Every rule I had you breakin'
It's the risk that I'm taking

(Halo Beyoncé)

"Shawn? Are you up there?"

Shawn's not in his room. I go back downstairs and open the door to the garden. And there, he is. Standing in the cold, he leans at the wall in the corner of the ceiled veranda – just staring into the dark garden. The lights of the living-room – the christmas tree and the candles are leaving on the snow-blanket yellow light stripes and dots. I take a look at the temperature. It's minus 10 degree, so it's fucking cold. I take a few steps into Shawn's direction. "Hey."

He doesn't look up. Instead he's sinking onto the bench, burying his face in his hands.
I get down next to him, and lay my arms carefully around him. He's already gotten really cold. "Don't you wanna come inside?"

He doesn't reply. And suddenly, I feel remembered of the day we were in the elevator. And I realise, that this, this here, this now, is for Shawn the same. He feels like he's in an elevator. And he can't move because he can't breath. At least, that's what it's looking like right now.
Shawn's having a panic-attack.
I know that he has these from time to time. I didn't experiene one of them live yet. Just one or two times Shawn had this face, this tension of his body. It was in extremely stressful situations where he only got a chance to breath when he blended out all of the expectations, all of the people crying and shouting his name. But this was behind the stage or in the studio or even at home in his apartment. It never was out of the sudden because of a family situation. At home. It never was because of his sister, implying, that he's ruined her chances to have a normal teenage-hood – a normal study-life-experience.
I put my arms around him, and he's laying his chin on the top of my head. His breathing is hectically and his gaze's blurry.

"Hey. I'm here, okay? I'm here." I take him closer into my hug, and I feel, how his hastily breathing is slowing down. He gasps for air.

"It's okay Shawn, it's okay."

A sob escapes his mouth.

"Hey, hey", I run my hands up and down his back, and I feel, how he's getting a bit calmer. I move my head to look up to him, only to see hin still panicking. Some tears are falling into the snow. I decide to do what comes intuitive to my mind: I get on my tip-toes and kiss him. He replies the kiss like he's drowning.

The kiss tastes like chocolate-apple-pie and salty-tears. We're so close to each other that I can feel Shawn's racing heart-beat through his clothes. It only slows down after minutes of holding each others, kissing and comforting.

When I have the feeling he's back to a kinda normal breathing, I get a little bit distance between us and say: "I'm gonna get us coats and a blanket, okay? I don't wanna lose a toe or my nose, or something like this, okay?!"

He nods, still not really back from his panic attack.

I'm back a few seconds later, and when we're both a bit more warm, I just lean against Shawn, and he leans against me. We're both keeping silent for a while, until he starts to speak. "You know, when my sister got into the first grade, she just learned playing the guitar. She really liked to jam on it, just trying things out and making us all going crazy, because she couldn't get the F-Major and the C in a row. It was very disharmonic. But it became way better after a lot of practicing."

"I didn't know that she can play the guitar."

"Cause she can't."

—————
AN:

Hey guys,
I'm back as you may have noticed - exams are passed, the new semester's already ongoing - just as "Shawn Mendes entered Wattpad"!

By the way: I love to see comments and votes. ☺️❤️

Have fun reading!

Rapunzel

PS: The songlyrics in this chapter don't belong to me!