ShawnMendes entered Wattpad.

73

<<pretty lies, pretty eyes>>
~ or: ~
<<How to speak your mind. >>

First, I think, he means Aaliyah, but then, I recognize, that everyone's looking at me. I frown. "What do you mean?"

"You broke your studies?" My mum looks at me very surprised, very concerned and kinda hurt. I mean, I didn't tell her until now, and I wanted to wait till tomorrow. Thank you Shawn. So, instead, I just nod and take another sip of the hot punsh. "It's really good, Karen. Thank you."
Well, she knew about it. So, she's the only one acting kinda normal, when she says: "That's nice from you, Mandy." She looks at her son, and I have the feeling, that she isn't very happy about his behaviour this evening. She seems to think for a moment, than she says: "I think, it's not our business, and yours neither Shawn, what Mandy does or doesn't."

"Oh, I think, that what she does, does affect our lifes, too", Shawn says with a little smile. "At least, it did the last weeks for myself."

I can feel the tensions growing at the table, again, and again, I wish, to be somewhere else. Maybe, at my piano, but much more rather, I would be back in Toronto. Even though, it's not the home, I wish, it would be, I would be far away from this boy. I look at Aaliyah. She gives me a little, unsure smile. I know, it's not that often, that she and her brother do fight, and it's not often, too, that he downgrades her right to speak in such a way, as he did at this dinner before. I don't want to ruin this good relationship, and I don't want to stand out this evening the way, I did before, either. A difficult thing, and a quite more difficult balance to find. "Mum, I wanted to talk with you about it, later, okay? I didn't mean, to hurt you by not telling. I will explain it to you, later."

"It's okay, sweetie. You're old enough, to make your own decisions." My mum smiles at me, and I am glad, that it's a real smile. So, that would be okay. I turn to Shawn. "Shawn, you really want to break a fight of the fence, don't you?"

Shawn looks at his parents and at Aaliyah, knowing, that his answer is observed with multiple frowning. He hems. "I don't want to. I just asked a question, that probably wasn't that much kind, as I wanted it to sound. I'm sorry."

Oh. Okay. That was nearly nice. "It's alright." I make a little pause. "I mean: You really shouldn't have shared my personal life without my permission, but it was right. It is a fact, that I broke up my studies. But Shawn", I lean a bit forward to him, to look him straight in the eyes. "You shouldn't talk about things, you don't know. My boyfriend is and never was existent. I don't know, which bird told you that, but – it's wrong – as most of the information, you got from that bird. Just to let you know. Could be embarassing." I catch and hold his view for a moment to make sure, that my words reached him. He looks still unbelieving – as always, but there's a spark in his eyes, that's even though impressed. His eyes are really pretty. Wonderful caramel eyes. Shit. I lean hasty back.

"Mandy, you know, there's this big problem, that you cause: You ask me for permission when talking about your personal life, but you didn't ask me, when you found all these many, many things about my whole family, you're now dining with, and about myself and my love-life and everything. So you expect me, to trust you in any way? No." He laughs. "I don't trust you as far, as to the door right there."

"You found things about us? About our family? Karen looks at me distracted and very irritated. I can feel, that every word from Shawn is making her more and more suspicious. If she was friendly and nice to me when we first met, now she's changing the mood to a protective mum - the protective mum of a world-wide-known superstar.

"Maybe, you should ask your dad what the term honesty means", Shawn proposes with a half smile.

The temperature at the table's falling around twenty degrees. Aaliyah's putting her head into her hands. "Shawn."
My mum frowns, but apparently she's decided to let us deal with it at least for the moment.

I grit my teeth. "Don't ever speak about my dad."

"Why not?" Shawn laughs. "As if you would care speaking about other people. So I stay with what I said: Someone should have taught you how to be honest."

I barely get myself to answer: "Maybe you should have asked your dad to teach you how to be nice. - No offense Manu."

Manu just stares frosty at Shawn. "I was thinking actually the same."

Shawn shrugs. "What? She did lie. And there, her parents did something wrong. - No offense Jillian."

"I have no idea, what is going on here." Mum says. She stares at the both of us as she'd wish to understand anything what was going on between of us.

"You found things about us? About our family?" Karen repeats her question from earlier, still frowning.

This evening could never have gone good, when Shawn's in the near. I knew it. For a second, I still struggle, then, I stand up. "It was so nice from you, to invite me to this dinner, too, even though we know each other only since Friday", I say. "But I don't feel now very welcomed, and I now know, that it was a big mistake to come here." I look at Shawn. He's crossed his arms and looks at the wall behind me. Okay, fine by me. I look at him. "I know, I can never make it up to you, that I wasn't completely honest to you", I smile as good, as I can. "But I told you yesterday already: I am not here, to spy on anyone of your family neither of you. And I am not here, to let me accuse again and again, that I am a liar and a bad person. And I am especially not here, to be your dummy, for all the lies someone else told you. So please, excuse me y'all, when I'm going home now. Thank you Karen again for the dinner. It was really good - I liked the baked potatoes with the beans very much." Now, I can't prevent, that my voice breaks a bit. "It was really nice, until I was suspected to be a spy." I go to the door. "Mum, you should stay of course - I just will go back to the house and pack my stuff. Please don't be angry, we're gonna talk later."

Mum looks like she couldn't follow the whole for- and backwards, and now, she seems surprised by my statement. She looks at Karen, Karen looks at Micheal and then they all look at Shawn.
Aaliyah looks at me, trying apparently, to find the right words, to defuse the situation. "I am sorry", she forms with her mouth. "I didn't want that to escalate that much."
I nod. I know. But what happened wasn't her fault. Without looking anymore at anyone, especially at Shawn, I go to the door and then into the corridor. I take a little look outside the petit window in the corridor and can't believe, what I can see: – Or to be honest: To not see. It is absolutely dark outside, and as I have the feeling, the engine of the street lanterns has turned off. Somewhere in Ontario has to be an interruption of the engine, apparently and luckily at the moment only of the street lanterns, but this makes the way home to my mums house not less difficult and uncomfortable. "You can't go now", someone says, when I already have put on my jacket and my shoes.